Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails

The Future Of My Coming Of Age Story: Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails | Writing Corner

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The Future Of My Coming Of Age Story: Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails

I can’t believe this story is over. When I started this story I was in a very strange time in my life. I just shared my news about my past and overall I was in a fragile state of mind more than half of the time. While feeling so open and raw, I learned so much about myself. I fought every single day and now, months later, I can say that it was worth it. Every bit of pain that I felt after telling the world I was abused was worth it. Because I was able to move on from that pain. Truly begin to heal. This story helped in ways I can’t even begin to put in words. It’s almost humorous, that as a writer, the words are lost upon me. I started this story because I wanted to write some happy go lucky, rainbow and sunshine story, but as time passed. The story just grew along with me. I realized something very important. Without suffering and pain, there isn’t happiness and bliss. You need the other one as into scale the level of what you’re feeling. Okay, that didn’t make much sense. Like I said, the right words when it comes to this story is lost on me. But it comes down to one thing. I wanted to do more. I wanted to write my story inside my story.

For years now I’ve tried to write my story, my past but I always got so stuck. It was too much. Just after I started this story I stumbled onto a quote and it has stuck with me. “It’s so important to turn your sadness into art. Use every ounce of your pain, don’t let it go to waste.” by Gabbie Hanna. Quite naturally, this story morphed into my outlet. My own way to write about my experiences with certain things without well writing my biography. Some of the themes in this story are inspired by events in my life. It still has its own life don’t get me wrong but a bit of my soul is in this story.

It would be irresponsible of me to not talk about Zack’s suicide in the last chapter. I take suicide very seriously. When I was fifteen, I wanted to commit suicide. I can remember the day I decided to vividly. I don’t think I will ever forget that moment. What I felt. What was going through my head at that moment… I was in English class. It was the middle of the day and it was just another day. Nothing bit happened the night before nor was there any big stressor recently. We were reading Shakespeare and I was dozing off. I don’t know where the thought came from but suddenly the thought of going home, drinking his sleeping pills and just letting go popped into my head. It was an overwhelming burst of energy and the sense of relief I felt…looking back now I’m sad. I mourn for that young girl who thought the only way she was going to survive her pain was by ending it all. The rest of the school day I was happy. I was just so happy because I knew when I got home it was all going to be over. I wouldn’t have to fake a smile and hope that things don’t get worse. I got home and went through my normal routine. I made instant noodles and ate it while watching my usual show. I then went upstairs, took off my school clothes and unpacked my school bag. I was just going through the motions really. I climbed on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t really thinking about anything at that moment. I was at peace. My phone beeped and it was a message from my dad. It was just another one of those jokes or things that he still sends through. At that moment I kind of snapped out of the haze. I took me years to place those feelings that I felt in that moment into words. It was anger. I don’t know who I was angry at but the will to fight boiled my blood and I refused to ever allow myself to think that killing myself would make everything better. I refused to give in. I saw that the act of my suicide would allow the man who abused me to win and I couldn’t allow that. Over my dead body will I allow this man to win. Things didn’t magically get better after that moment. It got worst. So much worst. The thought occurred to me on my weaker moments but I continued to fight. I fought because I knew eventually things will get better. Eventually, I will find a life worth living for. A life that made all that pain worth it. I’ve always wanted to talk about suicide, it should be talked about more. With this story, I was finally able to do. Zack’s suicide is only the beginning though. It’s only the end of this story but I planned from the start to have this a three book series. Yes! You heard that right. A THREE book series!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails is only the FIRST DRAFT of book one. It is short even for short story standards. I’m so very excited to announce that my goal for this new year is to revise, edit and complete the final version for this story with the means to publish it. It won’t be a big publish deal with some big company and suddenly this book is in all the bookstores in the world. Although that is THE dream. It will be an e-book on my website that true fans of this book can purchase. I’m planning to add at least another 80 pages to this story, which is basically double the amount that you see now. I realize there is a lot of events that I just skipped over. There is so much character development needed and well little plot holes that need to be filled. I have a list of things I want to add (nothing big will change) and I wanted to take this moment and ask you, the reader, to please comment down below and let me know what you think is missing. What do you want to see more off? What do you want to know? Do you want to hear more about M as she was growing up? How Daddy Dearest turned gay? There are quite a bit of things I want to go into detail about that I only briefly mentioned throughout the story. Zack’s depression and struggle with alcoholism were very subtle throughout the entire story. It was important to me to not make it too obvious as M (and you the readers) should be completely overthrown by his suicide. There is so much more I can say but I will leave that for the second book.

Thank you so much for all the love and support. I truly hope you enjoyed this little part of my soul. And I hope if anything, you can take my message to heart. Mental health is so fucking important. If you’re struggling, please reach out. If not with family members or friends, then with a therapist. There are so many free online support communities. You’re not alone. I know you feel alone and you’re drowning in the pain, but please. Reach out. I know it’s hard but it’s worth it.




Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails

Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails | Chapter Twenty | Writing Corner

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Chapter Twenty: The Day My Life Changed Forever

The rest of the evening was a blur. The entire family came over in the panic and we all could only sit in the hospital waiting room, hoping that Zack was right. A stab wound wasn’t a big deal. Zack rolled out of surgery around 3am, out like a light. The doctor ensured that there was no big harm done and he simply needed to rest and heal. A big breathe of relief swooped through my body and I practically fell into the chair. What a crazy night. Daddy Dearest carried me to the car and then to bed before tucking me in and kissing my forehead. I got lost in my dreams where I was running from the mugger and somehow drowning in blood at the same time. Daddy Dearest rushed to my side when I screamed myself awake and spend the rest of the early morning at my side. I couldn’t sleep and instead stared at the photos on my ceiling until the alarm pulled us from the bed. I got ready, numb after last night but I knew I couldn’t exactly skip out on graduation. “After the ceremony, we just need to go to the police station to report the crime and then we can go see Zack. I’m sure he is going to sleep most of the time anyway.” I could only nod as I followed him to the car with Mason in tow. For the entire drive, I could only watch the scenery blur through the window. We met up with Sasha and her family after we parked and she pulled me into a hug. It was my turn to sob in her arms and she comforted me. We pulled away when they announced that the ceremony was about to start. “Let’s freshen you up and get this over with.” I nodded and she pulled me towards the line of students. Once we were in place she whipped out her on the go makeup bag and cleaned my face. Once my appearance was deemed acceptable, she pecked my cheek and left to go stand in her rightful place. I took a deep breath and counted till ten. I only need to get through this next ten seconds. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. And then repeat.

The ceremony passed by in a blur. I wandered around, certificate in hand as I searched for Daddy Dearest. I paused when I finally found him in a deep discussion with Dad. He turned to see me and at that moment I forgot about my anger. I ran into his arms and cried. Dad hugged me close to his body and played with my hair. “Daddy is here now.” Daddy Dearest joined in on the hug and we simply just cried together right there in front of my school. Mason completely throwing his cool street-cred to the side, joined in on the action. Soon Sasha and her family joined and pretty soon we were just a bundle of humans crying on the lawn. We finally untangled ourselves after a few moments and could only laugh at the number of stares we received from onlookers. “Come, why don’t we go report the crime so we can go see Zack,” Dad suggested and we all hummed in agreement. I took his hand and allowed him to lead us to the car. Let’s just get this over with.

Reporting a crime was relatively straightforward. An officer took my statement, asked some questions and promised to follow up with Zack in the next two days for his statement. He did mention that there were quite a few cameras around the surrounding areas of the park and one of them should’ve caught the mugger fleeing. Even though catching the mugger wouldn’t suddenly make Zack un-stabbed, I took comfort in the fact that he would be off the streets. I finished there after an hour or so. The entire group hug family was in the waiting room and Sasha’s mom informed us that Zack was discharged from the hospital and we should all go out for dinner. He was just going to rest up a bit at the house. I hesitated. Every part of me wanted to rush to his side but he might quite clear to his mother that he refused to destroy our graduation plans and to go on without him. Reluctantly, I respected his wishes and followed the family to the restaurant. It was packed with other students but the food was great. My side felt empty without Zack but I followed the conversation around the table. I will see him in a bit. Tomorrow we can spend the entire day together. I can heal him to health this time around. Dinner finished without any big problems and we separated with the promise that once I get changed I will come over to spend the night with Zack. “Are you sure you guys aren’t dating?” Mason questioned and I froze. He is probably the most important person in my life. He is the first person I want to call when something big happens in my life. My side feels empty when he isn’t next to it. I love him but we’re only friends. I mean we did kiss that one time in New York but we laughed about it afterward. There were those captions on his posts but then again we never really talked about it. They could’ve meant anything. We’re just friends. I bit my lip and my mind reeled. “Mason leave the girl alone. Things will fall into place naturally.” Sasha jutted before pulling me into a goodbye hug. Mason could only blush and nod before making a run for our car. I laughed and after waving goodbye, following him. “I will see you in a bit. Tell Zack that I will see him soon.”


How every part of my being wished that the night just ended at that moment. Unbeknown to my tragic future, I jumped in the shower for a quick rinse, got dressed and quickly packed an overnight bag. Just as I pulled on my winter coat, my phone rang. It was Sasha’s home phone. Those next words destroyed my very soul. My heart broke into so many tiny pieces I was unsure I would ever feel whole again. Screams filled the room and it wasn’t until Daddy Dearest pulled my shaking body into his arms, did I realize it was me. I was screaming but it wasn’t screams filling up the empty and cold room. It was wailing sobs. It was the sound of the love of my life leaving this world forever. It was the sound of my life-altering. Daddy Dearest in panic picked up my phone and a sob broke out as I could hear Sasha’s father repeat his words. His broken voice barely audible over the crying of his wife and daughter in the background. “It’s Z-z-zack. We just found-d-d him. He’s dea-a-a-a-a-a-d.” I collapsed, clenching the empty space where my heart used to be. Why? Why did he have to die? I couldn’t even tell him that I loved him. I couldn’t even tell him that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Why? Why did he kill himself?


Please take a moment to read this blog. I talk about the future of this story and everything in between. Click on this link here — —

Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails

Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails | Chapter Nineteen | Writing Corner

Well hello there! Thank you so much for clicking on my new story. If you’re completely lost please go read this blog —

You can find the previous chapter here — —

Chapter Nineteen: One Day To Go

The next month leading up to graduation was interesting, to say the least. The school was about a thing of the past, we just had to finish up last minute things and then call it a day. The average day was mostly just watching Zack do his morning workout, take the dogs for a walk, make lunch for the family, work on the paperwork for my travels and then around 2pm, I will go over to Sasha. She was still very much so a shell of a human being without any real drive. I knew I couldn’t force her. She needed time to heal. I simply stayed by her side as we watched Gossip Girl. We wouldn’t really talk much, simply just watch the drama unfold on the TV screen and on occasion snack on some sweets. We would do this till dinner time and I would bid my second family goodbye and head on home. After dinner, Zack would come over to watch a movie or play board games, whatever we feel like doing for the night. Zack would leave around 10pm and I would then just get ready for bed and read till I fall asleep. It was a mundane routine but also very much so needed. Everyone felt a bit raw if I was going, to be honest. My nose quite literally felt raw, Mason was stressing about this girl in his class. The boy is smart but he can be quite clumsy, read incredibly awkward when it comes to socializing to humans that aren’t his family. To say he has a crush on her would be a gross understatement. It also didn’t help that the girl was the queen bee and very much so involved with one football player. It was a lost cause really. Mason had his first heartbreak just moments after experiencing his first love. It sure as hell stung.

Daddy Dearest was so deeply involved in creating new recipes that he mostly spends the day in the kitchen. Although he refused to let it show, the divorce was hurting him. Once a day he would be on the phone with the lawyer to discuss who gets what in the divorce and all of that jazz. He would always hang up clearly upset and return his attention to baking. The strangest, I couldn’t exactly call it baked good, came out of the kitchen. Flavors that really shouldn’t belong together but we simply tasted the food, pushed the urge to puke down and gave him a small smile before making a run for it before whatever he was brewing came out of the oven. It was quite painstakingly clear that the baking only served as a distraction and he tried to unravel the bonds that sixteen years of marriage created. Zack, he was just acting strangely. I couldn’t put my finger on it but he wasn’t himself. His corny, almost dad jokes, were suddenly rare. He constantly looked exhausted with ugly blue bags under his eyes. He also seemed to be sporting more boxing-related injuries. His knuckles almost never-ending red and bruised. He also strangely kept loading on his cologne. He was overdoing it really, almost as if he was hiding something but that could be was beyond me. He would get calls and suddenly leave and the list of strange behaviors just goes on and on. When questioned, he would simply laugh, change the subject and make some excuse to leave in the next twenty minutes. He will talk to me when he is ready. I can’t force him to talk to me.

“I still don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal about the dress. No one is even going to see it under the robe.” I groaned as I watched Sasha hold another dress in front of her. She was absolutely obsessed to find the perfect graduation dress. Sasha rolled her eyes and examined a purple dress. “Everyone will see it at dinner.” She simply replied before taking the purple dress to try on. Minutes passed as she grunted in the fight to get the dress on. “Nothing fits!” Sasha moaned and not even a second past before her sobbing met my ears. I rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug. She still had some baby bump left, her body still experiencing some of the pregnancy symptoms. I think it’s what stung the most. The fact that even though she was no longer carrying her child, if you looked at her appearance you wouldn’t be able to tell. The doctor said it will take awhile for her body to adjust. It still stung. “I forget sometimes that his gone, you know. I would catch myself in the mirror and it would come crashing down on me…and it’s-” Sasha broke down in sobs. My heart broke for her but once again the right words were lost on me. What am I supposed to say? What can I say to make her feel better? ‘He is in a better place now.’ How can that help her? He was her world. I have no doubt in my mind that Sasha would’ve done everything in her power to be a great mother and always be that ray of sunshine for her son. How is he in a better place? The best place he could’ve been is with her. Knowing that nothing I will ever say will make the situation better, I did what I could. I comforted her and cleaned her face once she stopped crying. “I liked the red one.” Sasha just laughed as she pulled off the purple dress. “Yeah, me too.”


  “So, tomorrow is the big day. Are you excited M?” Sasha’s mom asked as she removed the pan out of the oven. “Yes, I guess. I’m mostly just excited for the holidays.” Zack laughed and tickled my sides. “Yeah, we’ve been talking about maybe going to New York for a week.” I smiled, happy to have the normal Zack back. “As long as you two don’t come home with another couple tattoo.” Sasha snickered which caused the table to irrupt with laughter. How matching chocolate chip cookies always seemed to get some chuckles. The fact that we got a couple tattoo seemed to humor those around us. Although I would admit the cookie on Zack’s wrist did seem to stand out as it didn’t quite match the man behind it. He got quite a bit girly jabs at the boxing club when they first saw the tattoo. Zack couldn’t be bothered and showed off his tattoo with pride. Who cares if society would tell him to get something manly. A cookie is manly. Everyone loves cookies. “Zack told me that you’re going to travel next year?” My third dad, wait maybe my fourth dad, asked. I must be the only girl in this world that could consider herself to have four Dads’. There was my biological father, my two gay fathers and Sasha’s father. What a handful. I chuckled at myself before launching into a full-blown speech about my travel plans. “I’m flying straight to Italy from here. They have the introduction week at some villa and then they place us. I might stay in Italy or they might send me somewhere else in Europe.” Sasha swooned, apparently, Italy is packed full of hunks. “It truly sounds like a one in a lifetime experience. You must be so excited!” I could only smile, stupidly excited for the future. “I just enjoyed New York and learned so much about myself. I figured a good travel around the world would be just perfect.” Zack smiled, quite obviously proud of himself for the role he played in my decision to travel. I shook my head and poked his leg in response. “Dork!” Zack grinned his shit-eating grin before poking my ribs. “But, I’m your dork!” Sasha made a gagging sound at this which caused the family to break out in laughter. I forced a laugher as I tried to calm my racing heart. Relax M. He meant it in a friend type of way.

“Zack, why don’t you walk M home?” I pulled on my winter coat and waved my second family goodbye. “I will see you tomorrow!” Zack kissed his mom goodbye before pulling on his winter jacket. I unlocked my bicycle and Zack being the true gentleman he is, took my bicycle so I didn’t have to push it all the way home. The cold wind nipped at my nose and I rubbed my hands together for some source of warmth. Zack turned early quite for some reason. I could practically feel him distance himself from me. Something was clearly bothering me but I didn’t want to push it again. I didn’t want him to leave yet. “Why don’t we go sit in the park for a bit? There is something I need to tell you.” My heart stopped, shocked at his words before restarting with a bang. He can’t hear it right? I bit my lip but nodded. My gut was telling me that it was going to be bad news. My heart, however, was just stupid excited that he was finally going to talk to me. In my moment on inner turmoil, we arrived at the park and seated ourselves on the freezing cold bench. Moments of silence passed and Zack seemed to struggle for words. Just as he opened his mouth to finally break the tension in the air, a hooded figure appeared from the darkness. “Give me all of your money!” Zack sprung into action, calmly placing his body before mine and removing his wallet and phone. “Take everything you need, man. Just don’t hurt us.” I frowned, surprised at his response. Zack probably had a good twenty pounds on this guy. He can take him. I glanced around his shoulder and froze in fear when my brain processed that the mugger was packing. Holy fuck. He has a knife! Zack, calm under the pressure of danger, handed his phone and wallet to the shaking guy. He was clearly not used to holding people up at knifepoint. In a way, that made him more dangerous. That’s what all the cop shows told me at least. I held my breath as I clung to Zack’s back. “Bitch, give me your ring.” I sob broke through my chest and with shaking fingers I removed the only keepsake I had from my biological mother. Your life is more important than this ring. It’s okay. Your life is more important than this ring. I continued to chant this to myself in my head and I clumsily dropped my ring in his awaiting hands. The mugger moved as if to run away but a rustle in the trees spooked him. He jerked and I could only watch in slow motion as he pushed the blade into Zack’s stomach. I scream left my mouth as Zack fell to his knees. The mugger ran off and I could only very numbly take out my phone (luckily I had it tucked away in my bicycle bag) and call for help. “Please be okay.” I cried as I held onto Zack. Considering the man was stabbed and losing blood fast, he was quite relaxed about the ordeal. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. A stab wound is nothing.” The ambulance arrived, ten minutes later. The paramedics jumped into action and I could only numbly watch the scene unfold. Did this really happen? Did Zack just get stabbed? This shit is only supposed to happen in movies!

Short Stories, Writing Corner

Christmas In The Eyes Of A Dog | Short Story

Mommy and daddy brought back what smells like a tree but it doesn’t look like the trees at the doggy park. It doesn’t have orange and red leaves. It doesn’t have a sweet smell and gives me apples. Did daddy dig it out? Doesn’t he know that mommy doesn’t like that? I could’ve helped him too. We could’ve dug and dug till we found the treasure. My brother leaves me yummy treasures like treats all over the yard. Maybe it’s a good thing daddy dug the tree out by himself. They moved the tree around all over the house before placing it high up in the sky. I can quite easily reach it. I’m a big boy now. They did something strange to the tree. It will suddenly just light up. Mommy played around and the lights did all these crazy things. It was scary and strange. I don’t mind the normal lights. It’s nice and warm. I like sleeping right below the lights. Mommy gets so happy and takes my picture. I’m a good boy. They also hung up a lot of balls on the tree. It wasn’t my usual play balls so I got quite excited about my new toys. There are so many of them! Mommy and daddy didn’t like when I licked the one ball. They called me a bad boy. It made me sad so I gave daddy a big kiss and cuddle. He couldn’t stay mad at me. I’m too cute! The tree kept growing and growing. The bottom of the tree has all these different shapes and sizes. One of the new funny shapes smells nice. It looks familiar and I know the smell but I’m not allowed to touch. I don’t like this tree. I’m not allowed to play with the toys and run around in the living room. And then one day it was suddenly different. Mommy and daddy took some of the presents and seemed so happy. My brother got yummy treats and ran away with them. He doesn’t like to share. Mommy took the yummy smelling present out and helped me unwrap it. It was strange. I didn’t know what mommy was doing but boy was it fun. I could immediately tell what it was. It was a bone! The biggest bone I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s so big that I can’t even carry it! I licked and licked on my yummy bone with the twinkling lights in the background. Maybe I don’t mind this new tree.


I wanted to write something short and sweet for the holiday season. What did you think? As you’re reading this the day before Christmas, allow me to take this moment to wish you all a Merry Christmas! May it be a time full of great food, joy, and laughter with friends and family and so much more. Thank you so much for all the love and support this year. I’m truly so excited for this new year and so happy 2018 is finally behind me.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!


PS. I will upload pictures of Dankie and his bone on here when the Christmas rush is behind us. I will definitely have it on my Instagram and Facebook for those who can’t wait.

Edit from future Cassy

Speculoos took ownership of the bone and now Dankie is to scared to eat it.



Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails

Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails | Chapter Eighteen | Writing Corner

Well hello there! Thank you so much for clicking on my new story. If you’re completely lost please go read this blog —

You can find the previous chapter here — —

Chapter Eighteen: Old Friends

I screamed and ran full sprint into Zack’s awaiting arms. He caught me like he always did and spun me around in a little circle! “I missed you so much” I squealed at kissed his cheek. “Never leave me again!” I moaned and tightened my arms and legs around him. I clung to him like a monkey. Zack simply chuckled and walked towards my house. The three dogs went absolutely nuts at his arrival and Zack somehow managed to squat down to pet them all the while balancing me in his arms. “Boy, you strong!” I whispered into his neck while leaning forward to pet Lady. Unfortunately, by leaning forward, I threw off his balance and we came tumbling down to the hard ground, face first on my side. “Fuck me, that hurts!” I wailed while cradling my nose and pride. Zack leaped into action and quickly assessed the situation. I closed my eyes and I desperately fought against the pain. “How bad is it?” I finally asked after a few moments of silence. Truthfully Zack didn’t need to answer. I could feel the blood drip down my arms and the stinging pain was anything to go by…“It’s broken.” Yeah, I figured. Nothing in the wide big earth could stop me from crying like a little bitch at this comment. My wailing attracted the attention of everybody in the house we only caused chaos in its wake. The dogs went nuts. Mason fainted at the sight of the blood and Daddy Dearest immediately broke out in tears. Zack, the only calm being in the house, quickly took action. He picked me up as gentle as he possibly could but the action only caused more blood to somehow gush out of my nose. “Towel.” The order somehow broke Daddy Dearest out of his blind panic and he quickly ran for a towel. He was back before I could blink although the action of blinking deemed to be painful to be carried out at the present. “Lean forward and breathe through your mouth,” Zack instructed as he slowly lowered me into the car seat. Once buckled in, he handed me the towel. I quickly held it over my nose. “We need to take you the hospital.” Zack simply said before climbing in on the driver’s side. “I’m going to take her. Stay here with Mason and the dogs. Once things have calmed down, come to the hospital. Don’t worry. I will take good care of her.” Daddy Dearest could only nod before Zack backed out of the driveway and pushed the limits of the speed limit all the way to the hospital. Thereafter a good three-hour long wait, the doctor agreed with Zack’s diagnosis after touching my nose and face to the point I could only cry from the pain. “You’re going to need surgery. The nurse will admit you and give you something for the pain. Once the surgeon is available, you will be prepped and taken in. It’s going to be a long night so you should get comfortable. For now, I’m going to pack your nose with gauze and place a splint on it.”

The doctor wasn’t wrong. It was a long night. Daddy Dearest and Mason only arrived around dinner time to check up on me and Mason fought the urge to faint while Daddy Dearest bit back tears. “I called your dad, he is in New York for work but he sends you his wishes.” I simply nodded but then regretted the action seconds after doing so. My entire face ached. “How do I look?” I asked, suddenly very curious about my appearance. “Take my word for it, you don’t want to see,” Mason commented and a quick glance around the room confirmed that it was better if I didn’t see my clearly battered appearance. Daddy Dearest and Mason left around 9pm. I was dozing off at the sound of Zack’s comforting voice as he read me a story. I broke my nose, sue me for wanting to feel like a child and listen to a story before bedtime.

The surgeon only ended up getting to my surgery late in the afternoon the next day. I got wheeled out after three hours with a new nose. I then staid another night at the hospital before being discharged. Once home, I cuddled with Zack in the bed. For the next two weeks, Zack nursed me back to full health although the worst of the recovery was behind us after the first week. Once the splint came off and I accessed the damage I felt a lot better about the entire situation. Even though it was still very much swollen, my new nose looked the same as my old one. Thankfully no big difference. This fact seemed to relax Zack a little as he felt so incredibly guilty for the injury. Even though it was quite clear it was my own stupidity that caused the broken nose. It was an accident really. Something I told him every day but who was I kidding. I loved all the affection I was getting. At the three weeks mark I felt a lot better and quick stir crazy, also a tiny bit annoyed with the fusing Zack, demanded a family outing to the zoo. It was like a breath of fresh air and the penguins healed all wounds. I sat there watching the little thing waddle in their tuxedos for a good hour. I’ve always had a soft spot for penguins. Who doesn’t really? They’re adorable.


I played with Lady as I watched Diva and Baby play together. The two were quite smitten with each other. It was quite a sight to see with Diva being a third of Baby’s size. A dachshund and a pit-bull, friends for life. Lady, however, couldn’t be bothered with anyone but me which made me feel incredibly special and also semi worried about my departure in six months. My phone beeped, indicating a new upcoming message just as we got to the good part in belly rubbing time. Lady jumped in surprise at the sound and quickly ran away to hide. My heart clenched at this action, my poor baby. I glanced at my phone and my heart stopped. <I need you. Please come over.” At that moment, I forgot all about our petty fight and rushed over to her house. I forgot about the fact that we haven’t spoken a word to each other in months. I forgot all about that and instead concentrated on the fact that my friend needed me. I forgot my anger and resentment and pulled her into a tight hug and she sobbed uncontrollably. I clung onto her and rubbed soothing circles on her back. We stayed like that, right in the doorway the till the point the street light turned on and someone walking their dog glanced at us like we were nuts. We stayed like that until Zack came home from the club and gestured us inside. It was only once seated on the couch under a nice thick blanket, did Sasha regain the ability to talk. “I lost it. The baby died.” The words cut her deep and broke the dam once more. New sobs wracked her exhausted body and mind. I could only hug her in support. What do you tell someone that just lost a child? Sasha fell asleep in my arms soon after that. Zack then carried her to bed before the two of us climbed in with her and hugged her throughout the night. My heart broke for her because even though this pregnancy was unplanned, she loved this child dearly. She has prepared for this child’s birth. She even named him. Lucas. He died before he could even open his eyes and take his first breath.


Lucas’s funeral was a few days after that. Close friends and family held a little memorial for the young child as we all mourned for the lost life. Sasha was in pieces, even more so when John didn’t even bother to show up. She could only stare at the little coffin with tears in her eyes. I held onto her, fighting back my own tears. “Does anyone have a few words they would wish to say?” The priest asked. Sasha trembled into my arms, words forever stuck in her throat. Zack stepped forward and placed a rose on the coffin. The size of the rose compared to the tiny coffin, broke my fight. Soft sobs shook my body as I clung to the now sobbing Sasha. She sank to her knees, pulling me along her. I hugged her tightly, sheltering her from the ugly world. The world that took her son. “Lucas, you weren’t with us for very long, we never even got to hear your voice, but you will forever be in our hearts. May you rest in peace, my little angel. Love, your uncle.”


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