Story Time

My Husband Stressed Over A 2000 Euro Key For Years

This my favorite story to tell because honestly, it’s hilarious to me. If you ever meet me in person ask me to tell this story. I get so passionate about it with hand gestures and voices. So this story is the key story.

When I met Onno he was already in his apartment in the city for a few months and at first, he always said that his second key is with his parents. I didn’t really care as I was only going to his place on the weekends and who needs more than one key anyway? About a month after we started dating he finally confessed that he lost the key and when I asked him why don’t you just say hey I lost the key and get a new one? His reason was very sound. In his contract, he signed that in the case of a lost key, he needs to pay for the replacement of the entire building. It is one of those special keys that can open the front door and your apartment. That is quite a mind-blowing, probably only to me, that they were able to do that for five different apartments in our building like wow technology man. Anyway to replace all of those keys is ridiculously expensive; over 2000 Euros. So you can understand why admitting that he lost the key is the last thing that Onno ever wanted to do.

Months passed and I went back to South Africa for a few months and the one key problem was completely forgotten. It was only when I came back for three months and actively lived with Onno that the one key thing became a problem. Oh, wait there was this one time while I was au pair that we got locked out of the apartment for a few hours in the freezing cold weather. Onno had a friend stay over and while he went out to meet me halfway (I was angry at him and didn’t want to come over like always did so he came to pick me up halfway completely and utterly hung over.) she went out shopping. Onno left the keys with her as he didn’t know how easy it would be to get me to his place (I was really angry.). What ended up happening is that she didn’t answer her phone for a long time and we had to wait for her to finally get back to access the apartment. Of course, this didn’t make me any less pissed at Onno. It was a bad and awkward weekend. The poor guy. Anyway back to the future where we started living together. At that time I was on a three-month Tourist VISA and you’re not allowed to work on this said VISA. So I was mostly alone at the apartment while Onno worked. I had enough to do with keeping the apartment clean, doing the grocery shopping and all that jazz…who am I kidding? It was pretty boring and I watched a lot of Netflix. In my defense, I was working out a lot back then. It was when I was still doing BBG, something I’m restarting today (it didn’t stick though. I’ve been trying to restart BBG for months now and it’s not sticking. I made a new game plan that by the time this blog goes up, should be in action for 3 weeks.) and I think I was writing. Who knows. It’s two years ago.

I’m getting off track. So Onno would leave the keys at the house while he went to work so I could go in and out. He would ring the intercom when he got home and I would ring him in. It was a system and it worked but it would’ve been nice if we both had our own set of keys. Other than having the real fear that if we lost this key we’re completely and utterly screwed all was right in the world. It really wasn’t a problem as I would go back to South Africa before we could blink and it would be a few months before I’m back to live here in the Netherlands permanently.

Wait, let’s put a pin in this blog. As I’m writing this, this story is coming off quite boring. I just feel like I have to give some back story to it otherwise it might not make any sense but in the process, it’s coming off as well not funny. Sorry about that but I’m almost 800 words in and it’s too late to go back now. Alright let’s return to regular programming in 3…2…1

Flash forward a few months and I’m officially back in the Netherlands. I wasn’t even here for a week before we started talking about finding a new place. It was a subject we touched on before but we just had to wait for me to well live in the country before we could really consider it. At this time I was also convinced that I would most likely study in Amsterdam or Utrecht and since Onno works in Utrecht we figured moving to a place closer in that area would be the smartest move forward. We started looking for a place to rent and this is when the dreaded key problem came up again. One, over a year later after Onno lost the said key, he still didn’t want to call the realtor company. He was convinced that our downstairs neighbor also lost his key as the two very awkwardly had an interesting conversation about the keys a few weeks back. Basically, Onno was in a faceoff with our neighbor. Who is going to call first and pay the 2000 Euros? So basically who is going to give in and move first?

Although I wasn’t exactly eager to hand over 2000 Euros for a key, I also really wanted to get out of our small apartment and into a place with a yard. We looked around and saw a few places but ‘altemilately’ – Here is where everything derailed. For the life of me, I couldn’t spell this word and autocorrect wasn’t coming in to save the day. Normally if I can’t spell a word and auto correct is useless I would retype my sentence so I wouldn’t have to use the said word but I was stubborn. So here are my attempts to spell this word correctly. Altemitately. Ultemitely. And finally auto correct saved the day and helped a girl out, ultimately – I refused to spend so much money on a place we would only rent. The rent was also ridiculously high. So to explain myself more, even though this might make perfect sense to some people but to me (a South African this literally makes no sense) it’s bonkers. Here in the Netherlands when you rent a place you have to put in your own goddamn floor and closets. The one place we found we even had to put up our own fence and it wasn’t like oh never mind we could live without the fence type of deal. It had to be done or your backyard is open to the public. They also expected us to plant the entire garden (it was newly built) and basically make their shitty place nice. Coupled with the deposit, moving costs and the really expensive rent it was just not worth it for us. I honestly just refused to basically throw all that money away on a rental house. It’s not my house. Why the hell should I put in the floor? It just blows my mind. Anyway back to the story.

In the end, we just didn’t have the money to pay for the rental place and for the new keys. We decided that hey let’s wait a few more months. Maybe the neighbor will cave and move first. Months went by where Onno would ‘occiosanely’- and we’re derailing again. Come on Cassandra. You use this word all the damn time why the hell can’t you spell it tonight and also auto correct why aren’t you helping me out tonight? Occosian. Occasianly. occasionally – ask the neighbor without actually asking about the key and his said living plans in the future. The one key story was forgotten for a few months before we decided hey we’re at a good place in our lives let’s buy a house.

It took Onno three months after our offer was confirmed, papers were signed and we ’re basically one week shy from receiving the keys before he finally made the call. A call he was supposed to make a week prior but ‘forgot’. I had to press the call button for him. Onno was a bundle of nerves and went into this long story that his parents were cleaning out their house over the weekend and couldn’t find our extra key and they couldn’t tell how long it was lost and blah blah blah blah. The lady on the phone basically asked Onno to get to his point as she didn’t have the time. Begrudgingly Onno said that we don’t have a second key and would like to get one. AND GUESS WHAT? For only 40 Euros we could get a new key in a week! I repeat. FOR ONLY 40 EUROS WE COULD GET A NEW KEY IN A WEEK. You can’t hear my laughter through the screen but I assure you, I laughed my ass off when he told me with this stupid embarrassed look on his face. I’m chuckling now just remembering it.

Nearly two years of postponing this call out of pure dread, putting our life on hold a little bit and having this awkward face off with our neighbor who had no idea, we got our second key for 40 Euros. It turns out that the management of the apartment went to a new company and they didn’t make a big deal out of the whole key thing. Onno is convinced that if he called them sooner (if only with a few months) we would have had to pay the 2000 Euros.

Now that I think about it…maybe this key story is only funny to me?

Update from future Cassy

I wrote the first part of this blog months ago before we even moved. We had to wait however for our deposit before I could share it online. We didn’t want to take any risks when it came to such a big deposit that would really help to smooth things over at the bank after the renovations. Getting the deposit back was anything but easy. Now that I think about it, I can probably write another blog just about the troubles we faced to get back our money but I will spare you all on the details. We moved on the Saturday with all of the big things, the bed, couch, table, desk and etc. Basically the entire apartment. That Monday I went through to Rotterdam to fully spring clean the apartment while Onno did a few things around the house. It was a boiling hot day and anything but pleasant. It was a lot of hard work. The next day we had to return the keys. Onno went through as he had to be present for the check up from the rental agency. The person was late and it was a long and boring procedure. They basically walked through the entire apartment and took pictures so they could send it back to the owner who would then see how much of the deposit we would get back. Let’s say the shower door was broken. The owner would then hire someone to fix the shower door and withdraw the amount from the deposit. He would need the pictures as proof.

They promised that we would receive the deposit within two months we finally closed that chapter of our lives. Life got pretty damn crazy soon afterwards and before we knew it, it was just shy over two months later without a single peep from receiving the deposit. We called to hear what’s going on and that’s when we found out that the company received the pictures from the real estate agent last week. Apparently, the SD card of their camera was acting up and it took a while to fix the problem. They then promised they would have the deposit in our bank account by the end of the month. The end of the month came and went by without a word. Moral of the story after four months we finally got the deposit. It only took a dozen or so calls and unanswered emails every week. We did get the entire deposit back which is pretty great but what a journey it was. Reading through this blog in the editing process, I realize that maybe this story is only funny to me. Oops!

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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Mental Health, Story Time

Goodbye For Now | A Break From Social Media

I’ve written this blog only to scratch it a few sentences in too many times to count. I don’t really know where to start or what to say. I’m just going to talk to you, I guess.

I’ve taken a break from social media a few times by now. They weren’t really that long because I always felt this pressure. You see I don’t want my blogging to be a hobby. I want this to turn into something bigger. I want to publish my stories and be an author. It’s always been my dream to be a writer and starting this blog lit up the fire inside of me that was dying out. I started writing when I was about fourteen. My friend at a time loved writing stories and before I knew it I started to write too. Before that I would escape in worlds created by other writers but for the first time I created my own world. My own little haven to fall into. I wrote through the darkest time of my life. It was my outlet and then I stopped. I don’t really know why I stopped. I can probably give you a lot of excuses but to be honest something changed. I changed. I was finding myself, exploring new things and falling. I don’t really know how to explain it to be honest. When it comes to my own feelings and thoughts I struggle to put them into words.

I want to take a break. I’m too overwhelmed. I have to many things happening and if I don’t take a step back I will collapse. At first I felt like I should just write my blogs and eventually all of this will pass but the thing is I can’t get myself to write about it all. I can’t find the words. It feels wrong and fake to write these funny little blogs because I feel like I’m hiding myself. Maybe today is just a bad day. Maybe I’m overreacting and next week I will be okay and write till my fingers go numb but another bad day will come. I’m not even sure if I’m making sense. My brain feels foggy and I’m struggling to understand. I’m really not okay. I need space. I need some time to pick myself up completely. These last few months I’ve been stumbling a lot. Something would happen that would knock my feet right out from underneath me and I would push myself to get up but the ground underneath me is falling apart and I’m stumbling.

A part of me feels like I’m letting my readers down. A part of me doesn’t want to stop working on my blog because it’s been doing so well. A part of me wants to get more followers and subscribers and just go big. A part of me doesn’t want to disappoint the few that actually read my blogs. But you know it’s not all about that. I don’t want to care about the numbers and statistics. It’s not why I originally started this blog. The more I’m trying to explain what’s going through my mind right now the more I’m going in circles. I feel like I’m not making sense at all. I have no idea how to go about writing this blog because to be honest I can’t really put it into words. So for now I’m going to get technical.

I’m going to take a break from social media and my blog. It’s not going to be a short break either. I don’t want to come back on my next good day. I want to come back where my good days are often and my bad days are rare. I need time to recover and heal. I need time to concentrate on my mental health and get myself back on my feet. I need to stand on stable ground and run forward. To be able to do that I need to take things off my plate. I need to concentrate on the little things. I can’t continue going through circles like this. I need to grab the bad days at its ball and get through them. Because let’s face it. Social media can be draining because there is this pressure to be a role model. To be open and raw but I can’t do that now. How can I open up about my feelings when I don’t even know how to describe them? How can I be raw when I’m not ready to share why I’m raw.

I want to heal and then come back and share the things that I really want to share but don’t have the words for it yet. I’m not sure how long I will be off social media, it can be 3 months or 6 months or a year. I have no idea if I’m honest with you. A part of me wants to say that I will still upload blogs every now and again but I can’t half ass this break. Otherwise before I know it I will be back to putting too much weight on my shoulders before I’m ready and break down again.

You know my one year anniversary of this blog is coming up soon. I really wanted to push through to make it at that point but I can’t. It’s not fair towards myself. But hey the two year anniversary will be extra special then…I don’t know what else to say. I’m not sure if I explained myself properly or if any of this makes sense. Heck I’ve said that like twenty times in this blog but it’s true. I need to find my words again.

Thank you so much reading and goodbye for now…

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Mental Health, Story Time

This Blog Isn’t Even A Blog | Not That Important But Funny Though (I Hope)

Here we are once again. The day before a new blog goes up and I’m brainstorming about possible things to well turn into a blog. I have so many ideas but they all need more time to put into an actual good blog. Some things I just can’t throw together the night before you know. I hate this feeling so I’m really going to make it my goal to take time to write more blogs this upcoming week. I don’t have a choice. It needs to be done.

You know what’s unfair? You all already know what this blog turned out to be as well the title is a dead giveaway but here I am still racking my brain for ideas at 5pm.

So as always I turn for my husband for advice. While he basically ignores me and watch formula 1, I start to sing this song that has been stuck inside my head for WEEKS. I sing it every day and I only know like two lines. It’s ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ by Elvis Presley. The only part I know is “wise men say only fools rush in” and “I can’t help falling in love with you.” That is it. And yes in case you were wondering I did indeed start to play this song after my husband threw this curve ball at me. You won’t believe what he said. I can see the title now…

My Husband Thinks I Can’t Sing

So yesterday evening I got the shock of my life when my husband said I can write a blog about my ruined singing career. Which we both laughed at considering my singing voice is a screeching mess so out of tune, tone deaf isn’t even scratching the service. Shortest blog in the history of my website ever. Let’s see what else I can think of.

I’ve been stalling to decide what this blog is going to be about for 300 words and I still have no idea. Honestly this entire weekend I’ve been working on the renovations and playing Sims 4. That’s it folks. Nothing super exciting happened minus the fact that we bought our first car on Friday. A car I can’t drive even though I have a drivers license…to make a long boring story well rant short my South African drivers license is worthless here in the Netherlands and I have to redo the entire process. Something that I’m so incredibly excited for (not).

Other than that I’ve been reading a lot, painting a lot, eating a lot and playing a lot of Sims. Boy that was such a boring sentence with a lot of well a lots. My writing is such a mess. Excuse me while I play Sims for four hours while I watch Supernatural. Oh yeah that’s also something I did this weekend. I restarted Supernatural! It was a show I was incredibly obsessed with when I was in high school and I haven’t watched any episodes passed season 8. I forgot how good the first season was. Seriously amazing. I can’t believe I found it kind of scary back then. Once you see someone eat his own nose and feed it to dogs (thank you, Hannibal) a few scenes of some creature won’t even make you blink. Onno and I also found the walking dead scary as hell when we started watching it. Now I’m like oh wow that’s some great special effects and hoping no one touches my precious characters. Don’t kill my precious biker with a big soft heart. I just want to put them into a little bubble and protect them from the man eating zombies. What would you do in a zombie apocalypse? It took Onno and I five minutes to spell apocalypse correctly. I wish I was kidding. Anyway I’m actually one of those people that would just off myself and my family. I’m like I would rather die by my own hand then be eaten alive you know. Also here in the Netherlands you’re kind of screwed. I mean there is no guns here(which is actually a really good thing for everyday life. Other countries should catch on. *Glances at a certain country with a certain president*). So what are you going to fight all the zombies with, a kitchen  knife? Or you going to escape a swarm of them by bicycle? Plus the country is so small and with so many people, the virus would spread faster than a fart in a small room.

I’m loving all my metaphors recently. I’m seriously stepping up with this whole I promise I’m funny thing here on my blog. I completely went of topic but all this talk about zombies finally gave me idea for this blog. Perfect timing and all as I’m nearly 800 words in and probably lost like all my readers. I also really want to go play Sims now.

If you could be any animal in this world. What animal would you be?  The past and present. And why?

I seriously didn’t think this would be so difficult to answer. I mean that’s a lot of animals. I know it won’t be anything in the ocean as well sharks and I just can’t touch that ball of anxiety that would follow from being in the ocean. I could be the biggest and scariest whale out there and I would still swim away when a shark comes close. The fear runs that deep.

I would like to be an animal that can just sleep all day in the nice warm sun and have food brought to them. The life of a king. The only animal I can think of is the male lion so I guess let’s go with that. It fits with my life motto, in my next life I want to be a cat. I want to sleep all day and have food served to me like I’m a master. Basically I would want to be my cat. The worst thing he experiences is maybe one of two too many kisses from his mother (he likes it, I mean he always comes back for a cuddle) and a bath every few months. That’s it. Sign me up! Also when I told my husband this he said: “How is that much different from real life?” Someone is feeling sassy today.

My husband’s response to the question was so brilliant I decided to write out exactly what was said.

The husband: “Maybe uhmmm I haven’t really thought about it.”

The wife: “Well think about it now. I have a blog to write.”

The husband: “A bird but a big bird.”

The wife: “What bird?”

The husband: “A eagle.”

The wife: “Why an eagle.”

The husband: “Because I get to fly and look down on people.”

The wife: “You also get to shit on them.”

Couple goals? What animal would you be? And why?

I think I’m just going to cut myself off right here because clearly this blog isn’t going anywhere. This blog isn’t even a blog. Oh wait I finally have my title. I’m sorry for those who came here for actual meaningful content. Like my previous blog showed, emotional and mentally it’s a bit rough right now. I’m not all happy sunshine and rainbows so well I don’t really feel like writing much. I’m sure you all will understand.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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Mental Health, Story Time

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay | Life Update

I’m sometimes the worst blogger ever. I have six complete blogs ready to go or nothing at all. There is no in between. Well today there is. I have some blogs finished but none of them are right to go up now. I have no idea if that makes sense, heck it barely makes sense to me. But most of the times I end up writing the blog the day before or like today, the same day hours before I goes online. It’s something I really want to work on. I must admit balancing my regular blogs, well not even completely regular as I now have a extra blog go up every Wednesday about the renovations, with working around the house has been so difficult. For starters I can’t get ahead at all and that frustrates me.

To be completely honest with you I have no idea what this blog is going to end up becoming. I’m just writing that is coming to mind and just seeing how things go. I just kind of want to talk to you all. Take a step back and just talk.

I’m not okay.

The thing is these last few months, heck this entire year has been just one roller coaster ride of overwhelming emotions. I don’t even know where to start or how to put everything in words.

In the beginning of the year we heard that my dearest grandmother is losing her battle with cancer. She has beat it twice already but this time around there is nothing they can do for her. It hit me hard. I realized that I won’t be able to see her again. I realized that I already saw her for the last time ever and even though she is still going, I’ve already hugged her for the last time. I don’t really know how to deal with death. I’ve never really lost someone through passing. When my childhood cat died my heart broke into tiny little pieces and I still get so emotional thinking about it…but this is my granny we’re talking about. I have so many wonderful memories I will forever cherish with her and I’m so grateful that she was in my life because she made everything shine so much brighter. Boy I’m getting emotional here. I’m just constantly crying if I’m straight with you. I’m overwhelmed. I really am. I’m not okay.

Around the exact same time we heard the news about my granny, I was diagnosed with PCOS. I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’ve talked about it before but I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Heck when I play Sims, I’m all about raising perfectly happy kids. Even thought every women with PCOS is different, some conceive without trying, some conceive immediately after starting hormone treatment, some lose baby after baby, some try for years without ever getting their little miracle baby. It’s a difficult thing to wrap your head around. Yes I don’t know where I am on the spectrum but it still scares me. It will probably always scare me.

And then we entered the renovations which was such a whirlwind. Honestly how can I even put this in words? Wow as a writer I’m really struggling to find words today. I never really try to explain or word my feelings so I’m a bit lost here. Throughout the incredibly draining renovations I was undergoing so many dentist procedures, big ones too. They pulled two teeth and I was in so much pain unable to eat normally for what feels like forever. It’s just been an unending amount of pain and torture in the dentist chair.

Oh did I mention I was hit by a car? Yes that actually happened and it sure as hell didn’t help with things. I’m so close to breaking point that I can cry if some stranger just raises their voice to me. My hormones being all over the show isn’t helping anything either, thanks PCOS. But yeah let me tell you about the little car accident that makes my heart go crazy every time I’m on a bicycle and close to where it happened.

So after a long and tiring day at the house, I wanted to head back to Rotterdam in the afternoon. Normally Onno would come pick me up, do a hour or so of work, before we head home after he finished work. On Thursdays Onno always works later and I really didn’t have it in me to work on the house for another six hours. I just wanted to go home and cuddle with Speculoos. At this point I’ve only bicycled to the station once with the GPS on so I thought I knew the way. I didn’t. So I notice that I have no idea where the station is and my train leaves in 15 minutes. The trains are every 30 minutes here so you really don’t want to miss your train. Anyway I stop and pull into a parking lot so I can open maps and see where I’m supposed to go. As I pull in I notice someone is in their car, their door is open, so I thought to myself let’s really get out of his way. This guy is old and probably won’t look. So I’m further away and I open my phone and start to figure out where the hell I am and where the hell I’m supposed to go to get to the train station and the next minute a bump lurches me forward. By some miracle I don’t fall over and keep myself upright and very slowly I turn around to see what just happened. The second I saw this car basically touching my leg, my entire heart dropped. It took my brain awhile to figure out that a car just hit me. The man paused, we made eye contact, and drove off.

At that moment so many things went through my head. I could’ve died. I’m not hurt. I’m okay. I could’ve died. I’m not even being over dramatic. If he reversed out of his parking with a speed and I fell over there is nothing stopping him from running me over. I mean the old fart is blind enough no to see my big ass meters, I really mean there was a space for two cars behind him to get out of his parking space NO PROBLEM, then he sure as hell wouldn’t have seen me under his wheel. That’s what got to me. My life could’ve ended at that moment. I have so much more I want to do in life. After calling Onno in absolute tears and shaking like a leaf while my heart desperately tried to escape my chest, I got so angry. Incredibly angry. It took me awhile to get myself together but I very slowly bicycled to the station and cried the entire train ride back to the city. I got away with a bump in my bicycle, great reminder by the way, and a few scratches on my leg. I needed a few days to pick myself together again and clung to Onno like a fly to poo.

The first time we went back to the place it happened my heart started to race and I was shaking like crazy when I rode a bicycle the first time after the accident. When I retell the story I mostly just get angry and emotional. I mean the timing of it. At that point I was exhausted, in so much physical pain, so emotional I could cry at every second and just over all scared. And then this old fart scares the life out of me. Oh just had to pause for a second and take a deep breath. Not even a week after that Onno had a little scare with a truck so that sure as hell didn’t help things. 2018 has been ROUGH.

The thing is I’m not okay right now. I have my days where the only thing I want to do is crawl into bed and never leave but I’m getting there. Some days are better than others and that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay. At first I felt so guilty for feeling so well…depressed when I’m happily married, we just bought our first house together and my husband is my rock. I’m incredibly grateful for my husband and so happy about our new home but I’m not always okay. I repeat; it’s okay not to be okay. I will get there. I know I will.

So yeah, that what’s been going on. This blog was kind of all over the show but it feels good to have it out there. I kind of started to put up a front that I was doing just awesome with the PCOS and handling everything like a champ but I’m not. I don’t want to hide behind a screen and smile when I want to cry. I’m over that stage of my life. I’m sad. I’m happy. I’m exhausted. I’m excited. I’m okay and then I’m not okay. I’m laughing. I’m crying. I’m all over the show and that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay.

Sorry for this gloomy update. It’s all I had in me to share today. We can’t always share the highs in life yah know.

Thank you for reading and I will see you in a click!

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Mental Health, Story Time

My Worst Bitchy Moment Ever

I will be honest. I paused before publishing this blog. What if people start to see me as a bad person? What if my true intention that I want to achieve with this blog gets lost? What if I didn’t do a good enough job to explain myself properly? This is nerve wrecking but I’m a big girl and I’m not ashamed to confess that I made a mistake. I said some things that was wrong and I didn’t mean any of it. I think what’s important about growing up is not being afraid to admit when you’re wrong and trying your utmost best to make it right. So enough stalling. I’m going to click publish and just hope the message will be received.

***

My worst bitchy moment ever, happened a few years ago here in the Netherlands. Onno and I just started dating and we went to Starbucks for a drink. We were in that awkward stage of the year where it’s sometimes hot but you better be prepared for rain. At this point of my life I was a few months in my fitness journey and finally losing weight. I still didn’t have the confidence to show skin or any of that. My warped way of thinking was if I can’t pull it off then someone bigger than me certainly won’t be able to pull it off. You’re allowed to slap my past self. I think about this often. I honestly and truly wish I can take back those words and I can only imagine how much it hurt this girl and if I can ever meet her again I would definitely apologize.

In front of us in the Starbuck line, a bigger girl was wearing a black shirt with a open back. I loudly said that oh wow she’s wearing that? Like I can’t pull that off and I’m so much skinnier then her. Yeah. I said that. Out loud. She could hear me. Imagine the worst bitchy voice you’ve heard in a movie, that was me. She did hear me and talked to her friend next to her in Dutch. I have no idea what she said as back then my Dutch was really rusty. I however didn’t stop there. Oh no. It gets worse. I then pressured Onno to agree with me. The poor guy was so awkward and didn’t know how to tell me to shut the hell up. It truly was my worst bitchy moment ever.

I felt so horrible about my own body I felt like it was perfectly okay to hate on this girl. A real life troll. The thing is losing weight isn’t going to magically give you body confidence and self love. You’re not magically going to become a better person because you lost a few pounds. I’m not saying I’m a horrible person but that moment…I sure as hell wasn’t my true self.

I’m truly sorry for hurting your feelings. I was a bitch and I didn’t mean a single word I said that day.

The point I want to achieve with this blog is that people change and sometimes people say things without a filter without meaning them. Sometimes you hurt someone even though you never meant to do so. The best thing you can do is apologize. Correct your wrongs and learn from them. Don’t make the same mistake again. Become a better person. Today I pause and consider my words more.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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Animals, General Life Tips, Story Time

One Year With Speculoos (Our Cat)

How exciting! One year ago Speculoos became a part of our family and I can honestly say that it was packed full of laughter and so much kisses (Speculoos loves it). I love the little fur ball so much and I can’t imagine life without him. So much has happened over this year, so many funny stories to share so I figured why not share them with you with some pictures of Speculoos. Also I squealed while choosing the pictures for this blog. Also I took so much pictures of Speculoos. I still do. My camera gallery is mostly just him.

 

And yes most of these pictures is going to be from young and little Speculoos because well that’s what I have on my computer. For more recent pictures you really don’t have to go very far. I post about Speculoos on my Instagram way to much but he also has his own Instagram because well he is just that cute.

 

Potty training Speculoos was a slow progress. It took a month but I’m proud to say Speculoos never makes an accident. He didn’t even make one accident in the new house (a very proud cat mom here). In the old apartment in Onno’s office we had the typical eight square storage space from IKEA that we stored my clothes in. Behind it we stored my two suitcases (from my travels from South Africa) where we always kept our out of season clothes. It was open and easy to access. The first potty accident Speculoos had was on the carpet in our living room. For awhile after that it seemed like Speculoos found his litter box. However when I did the laundry I got a nice old handful of poo. Lesson learned. I cleaned it up. He did it again. I got a new laundry basket (one that can close is higher and out of reach).

A week went by with no other accidents. That is till I came home from a first meeting with a Insta friend (My only zombie bait, Zoe *insert wave*) to a very unpleasant surprise. While working in his office, Onno discovered a horrible smell. He followed the smell only to find Speculoos own personal litter box all over our bags. It wasn’t pretty. Everything was covered in pee and poo and well yeah the picture is painted. It was anything but pretty. Wait I said that. Let’s move on. Onno stacked it all in the kitchen area (guess the dining area but we had a open floor plan) and as I was washing things, Speculoos used his litter box, my bag, again. It took me a week to clean everything and even longer to get the smell out of Onno’s office. But that was the worst of it. We blocked the area with a box and Speculoos finally discovered where his litter box really is and actually started to use it. Did I mention the time he peed on the little mat in front of the shower? Yeah that was horrible to step into. Oh wait while I’m talking about his accidents, Speculoos had one just before we moved. He peed on our bedding but I think that’s due to us removing boxes and stress of being left alone for so many hours for so long. The renovations was rough on all of us.

While I’m on the subject, I did punish Speculoos (in the beginning not the accident before the move) every time he went to bathroom in areas we didn’t want him too. This is how my parents trained our animals and there is probably other ways but well this is just how I train my animals. It works. So basically I take the animal to the accident and press his nose into it and give him a hard tap on the bum. Afterwards I take him to the actual place I want him to use as a bathroom. After repeating it a few times it will start to click for them. Also to get rid of the horrible cat pee smell use sea salt. It will also crystallize the pee and make it easier to clean. I said the p word so many times. Oh. Also I said the oh in a very high pitched squeaky voice. Just ask my husband.

 

Okay let’s get back to my cute adorable cat stories. There is so many instances that our silly but stupid cat made me chuckle like crazy. Speculoos being scared of a strawberry or attacking the oranges. Or Speculoos running of with my tissues when I had a cold. Or how Speculoos will stare Onno down and attempt to steal his pizza. It’s actually hilarious. He will lay in the lid and if Onno is distracted his little paw will go up. Or when Speculoos fetched his little ball from down the stairs. Or when Speculoos played in the wrapping paper till he knotted himself in. Or when Speculoos stared at the bird for a full hour with his tail wagging. Our silly little cat has brought us so much joy. I love him so much.

The most vivid stories actually come from most recent. Speculoos has always loved water (he stares at us when we shower) and while I was in the kitchen I had the bath running (it takes about 15 minutes to full) and I hear a little splash and turn around to see Speculoos run out of the bathroom. It didn’t take much to guess what happened. Speculoos went for a bath and regretted it. Afterward he gave me the stink eye from the bathroom floor while licking himself as we bathed. The silly little thing. I really love him so much. Wait I’ve said that before but writing all of these stories just makes me feel all warm and fluffy and so many other stories are coming up in my head but enough of that. Here is more adorable pictures of my silly little orange cat.

 

Honestly I screamed at that last picture. Also the middle one. Here are both of them again because come on! That is painfully adorable!

 

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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PS. I will be sharing a few more blogs about Speculoos (the move, how we introduced him to the outside world and maybe his first night with us ever?) soon.

PSS. Here is Speculoos Instagram profile — http://www.instagram.com/speculoos_the_cat/

 

#dutch, Dutch, Story Time

One Year Immigrant Anniversary

Oh boy I’m writing my first blog after two months of incredibly hard work. I have so much I want to share and not all of it is related to the house for those who couldn’t care less about the renovations, fret not I have other content heading your way. We just need to build our office desk so I can just sit and pump out work left and right. That came out wrong. Did it? Am I just over sensitive because I have to relearn how I write blogs? But anyway you’ve seen the title so you know what this blog is about but let me do the introduction and build myself up to it. Seriously how did I write blogs before?

The second of June has been a special day to me these last few years. The man of my dreams, my husband, birthday is on that day. So back in May 2017, we received my VISA. After getting the acceptance letter we had to wait two weeks as my approval didn’t show up in the system and we couldn’t get the stamp in my passport before it finally showed up. My big goal was to arrive before Onno’s birthday as the perfect birthday present because let’s face it his future wife being there for his birthday without ever having to leave again is a pretty good present. Things managed to work out and I landed on his birthday last year. So it’s safe to say that on Saturday we had a lot to celebrate. Added to the list of things to celebrate we had our first week in the house which still feels unreal. I worked incredibly hard this last week to unpack almost everything so the house could feel more like the home by Saturday.

We woke up bright and early to Speculoos running into the bedroom and jumping on the bed with his packet of treats. Treats he jumped up on the bookcase to get to. Treats that if he eats to much of he gets the runs. Hence why I put it in high places I thought he wouldn’t be able to reach. After Onno chased Speculoos down the stairs to get his treats, while he was downstairs he made me cup of tea because he is just that great. I do need to add I sang happy birthday to him six times. I’m incredibly tone deaf so it borderlines on torture. While we had our breakfast in bed my dad called and sang happy birthday in the same tone deaf brilliance that I inherited from him.  After the phone call Onno and I went downstairs to bake the milktart (a South African delight that Onno loves) before attempting to work on some small things around the house. After about an hour a nap was in order to restore the balance in the universe. A few hours later we resurfaced to get back to work. I once again sang to Onno till he left the bedroom to escape my brilliance. We very slowly got to work on the small things left to do in the house, mainly putting up a storage space on top of the washing machine and putting up the last bit of handles in the kitchen (a hole needed to be drilled in before we could put the handles on). While I started preparing the pork roast Onno finished the mini bookcase in the office. We stopped there for the day well it’s his birthday we can’t work the entire day. It was a nice day. We got some work done around the house, we relaxed and watched our favorite series together on the couch like the good old times and then enjoyed an incredibly delicious pork roast meal followed by dessert. We ended our night with a bubble bath, boy oh boy our bath in the new house is magical.

Honestly it still blows my mind that I’m living in the Netherlands now permanently. I’ve never been here for one year straight without going back to South Africa. Onno and I never had one uninterrupted year together. This last year was a crazy whirlwind of emotions, 2018 being the roughest emotional roller coaster ride I’ve ever been on, but I’m so incredibly happy to be with him. I’ve said incredibly a lot in this blog post. No idea where that is coming from. But anyway back to the blog; a year ago I never would’ve imagined where we are today and I’m just so excited to see what the next year will bring us. I have no idea where I’m going with this. I’m mainly just so happy, overwhelmed, emotionally unstable, tired, blessed and so much more.

A quick little side note before I end the blog (I really need to get back to work. We’re building our office desk today.) I failed the speaking part of my Dutch as a second language test AGAIN. It’s so incredibly frustrating. This time I failed with 9 points. Come on man throw a girl a bone! Anyway I will attempt another round later this year as well as starting to prepare for my immigration test (I have another two years to do that but who knows how easy that will go down). I’m also going to start the process of getting my driver’s license. Unfortunately my South African drivers license doesn’t mean shit here so I have to redo the entire process (yes I’m still butt hurt about this fact). We really needed me being allowed to drive when we moved and now that we live in a smaller ‘city’ further away from everything, we really need a car. Onno is going to do most of the driving but who knows, I might want to use it every now and again. I haven’t looked into it too much but hopefully I can scratch it of the list this year.

Alright that’s it for the blog. I’m sorry that I’m all over the place. I wish there was more I could say about my one year as an immigrant anniversary (boy that’s an uncomfortable mouthful) but honestly we just ate, slept and worked on the house all day. Nothing special. I’m sorry for being absent so long, I really tried my utmost best to avoid it from happening but the renovations was full of surprises and I just couldn’t keep up with everything. It also didn’t help that throughout these last two months I’ve had some big dentist appointments (read actual torture) but I have three more appointments to go before I’m almost done for the year. And by almost done I mean I have to get two teeth implanted and that’s going to take another few months before the gums are healed enough. Hopefully it will go into next year because honey I’m so drained. So much pain. So tired. Anyway I’m going of track. I will be back to my regular updates moving forward with a lot of exciting things coming up. I will start sharing some house related DIY projects soon, but other than that…I’M BACK!

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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PS. For those who is reading The Girl Writing In The Train, a new chapter will only be up near the end of June or beginning of July. I want to catch up with my blogs before I return to my creative writing. I can’t get into the flow of things when I feel like I’m behind on the blog aspect of my website if that even makes sense. I hope you will understand.