Story Time

I Had My Recurring Childhood Dream Analyzed

My best friend is hard at work with her studies. She is studying psychology. She is currently in year one and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She is balancing a full time job with her studies. Earlier this year one of her first assignments was to analyze a dream. I stepped forward mostly because I was truly curious about my recurring childhood dream or in a way it was a nightmare. It truly did scare me and I would dread going to bed. I must have been five or six years old when this happened and I can clearly remember ever detail of the dream.

The Significance of Dreams in Psychoanalysis

by Anje Tait

Dream Description and Analysis

The dream of Cassandra Meaker will be described and analyzed. This recurring nightmare plagued Cassandra’s dreams during the age of 5. Particular attention will be put on her experiences during this time and the events that occurred some months after her dream. Emphasis will be put on Cassandra’s personality traits and ultimate behavior as an adult.

The Dream

“There were three rooms, I was always tied to a chair in the center of the middle room. The room on my left was clear and I could see into it through a large window. It looked much like a slaughterhouse, pieces of meat hung from hooks on the ceiling. A loud scraping sound from a fan always came from the room, making me want to run away from it. The room on the right was always unclear, there was an opening, but it was too dark to see into the room. I remember crying and yelling for help, trying to escape from the chair. My captor would then appear, he had devil horns and his entire body was black, except for his bright red eyes. He would ask me something in a language I didn’t understand, when I couldn’t answer he would get angry and torture me by cutting my legs. I would always wake up after that. ”


Dream Analysis

Using Carl Jung’s belief that dreams could be predictions of the future, unconsciously she could have felt like she had to make an important choice about an event that had yet to happen. In her dream this choice is symbolized by the two rooms, however it was already clear to her what room she wanted to choose. This is substantiated by her annoyance with the room on her left and her wish to run to the one on her right. According to Jung’s techniques, her captor only focusing on cutting her legs could refer to an unconscious fear of not being able to escape from a bad situation or the loss of her freedom. These factors could refer to her parent’s divorce, though it happened 2 years after the dream, she admitted to having felt tension between her parents in the years leading up to the divorce. The choice that she unconsciously felt she had to make does not necessarily refer to choosing which parent she wanted to stay with, but could refer to the divorce itself. She felt confused as to why it was happening and wanted to escape from it all together, yet she knew that she was powerless to stop it. She admitted she believed in the devil, during the time of the dream and often blamed the devil for bad experiences. This is further supported in her dream, as she sees the devil for the reason of her pain and suffering, telling her something she didn’t understand. This could refer to the divorce and her reluctance to accept it. As an adult today she is extremely independent and values her freedom, she is very decisive and makes decisions almost immediately. This behavior is apparent in her dream, as she already knew she wanted the room on the right and her captor only focused on injuring her legs, which could symbolize freedom for her.



Story Time

My Scary Online Experience | Creeper Alert

I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and told this story to anyone. When I decided to share this story I made a voice note just to tell the story and get the timeline right and boy was it a long voice note. 17 minutes to be precise. So straddle in, this will be a long and cautionary tale.

I was seventeen when a creeper made my life hell online. Okay so I need to start with a back story or I might lose some of you. Back then we just started to recover from our big financial knock – we were homeless for four months. I was in my second last year of high school and old enough to start looking for a job. So I did just that. I made a post on an online site similar to Craigslist. High school student looking for a part time job. The idea was to get a babysitter job but I was open to a shop assistant job and everything that I could balance with my school. I attached a picture of myself – which I’ve learned was a big mistake. Now I got quite a bit of response on my advert and I think only three was about an actual legit job.

“Do you want to be a nude model for us?”

“We pay … for a sex scene!”

“Will you come babysit me?”

I quickly became a little bit more aware of what attraction I was getting. So for these people to sneak through my cracks just shows how well their little operation runs. A women reached out to me with a very professional email stating what she does, where she works and what she needs from me. She proceeded to tell me how my salary would work and all in all the entire thing looked very professional. She had a website attached to the email, a real address – which was about a two hour drive away from my house but as I would only work online everything seemed perfect. The email address she contacted me with all worked with the website and so called business. The website didn’t look out of order. It might be a real business with a real website or it could be a front website. I’m not entirely sure. I don’t have any of the details anymore.

So I responded to the email absolutely enjoying this big job opportunity. It was online and the job at the time seemed to be legit. I do want to add now I can clearly see all the warning signs so I feel a little silly for not noticing anything dodgy earlier. Anyway so she gives me my first big job. My job was to reach out to a potential client and convince them to sell their rare coins. I was instructed what I had to say and their contact details. I did as she constructed me to do, I send the man a very professional email about his coins. He responded with a photo of the said coins but changed the subject to me. He wanted to know more about me. Where I go to school, how old I am and requested a photo of myself. At the time I didn’t think too much about it. I would like to think I didn’t tell him where I went to school but I’m not sure. I shared my age and the same picture of the advert from before. He responded with the usual compliments and I didn’t think much about it. He was very clever with changing the subject away from the coins and toward anything else he could think of. I went along with his conversation and it came to a point where I was receiving emails from him nearly every day. It staid innocent for quite a long time and so he gained my trust. Back then I was writing werewolf novels for an online website, Wattpad. Around this time I’m exploring my sexuality. I was in a relationship with my second boyfriend and how do I put this without sounding like a complete bitch. Well let’s say I wasn’t completely satisfied and my werewolf stories featured some heavy sex scenes. Although to the standard of what you get out in the world it’s so vanilla. Think of a sex scene in a normal romantic movie. Some kissing, some naked leg and maybe you get a boob and then the screen goes black and we go straight to the next morning. Okay so anyway back then no one knew about my Wattpad account. I didn’t like the idea of my family and friends reading my stories so I kept it quite under the raps. Not much has changed since then as I still don’t like family and friends reading my novels. Well Onno doesn’t count but it took him a year to get access to that part of my life. Okay I’m going slightly off topic.

As you might have guessed, I told this man, let’s call him James my Wattpad account details. He looked me up and showered me with comments about my writing style and asked a little about this so called steamy sex scenes but I didn’t add fuel to fire. I changed the subject and brought the coins up once more. The conversation didn’t stay innocent for very long when suddenly I got an email from him with an attachment. James shared that another women contacted him that works for another company about his coins and she was very adamant to get it from him. Let’s just say it was a very here is my nearly nude body in skimpy underwear shot. For the first time a small warning bell rang but not loud enough because I changed the subject and brought it back to the coins but at the same time I contacted the original employer, let us call her Anna. Anna responded nearly immediately and simply said I should give him what he wants so we can get the coins. She reminded me of the so called big pay day. I found her response very strange. James contacted me almost the same time I got her email threatening to go for the other girl as she is willing to provide other services. By now I finally caught on about their little game and I wanted out. I responded to his email stating that I wasn’t interested in the coins and he should just go for this other girl. James immediately responded trying to sweet talk his way into receiving a similar picture from me but I wasn’t having any of it. I stopped answering his emails and it kept coming. It took him exactly five emails to get angry and so the threats started.

The email I was using had my full name and back then my Facebook was as public as it can be. So he typed my name into Facebook and used the information he found on their against me. He knew my friends names, my mother’s name, my brother’s name and close family members. He started emailing me their names and information he found on their public profile. I was scared at this point. I was scared for my friends and family because who knows what this person will do with this information. He knew I was scared but not scared enough so he pulled out his final card. He made a website.



On this website he had all my information he found on Facebook and then some. My school, my age, my hometown, my height, my age, my full name and my profile picture which was the same picture I used on the advert that attracted this creep. Not only that, he had a little snippet of my so called steamy scene from my novel with some changes. My name and his name was now the main character with a little paragraph stating that I’m not who I seem to be and I wrote this hot story to arouse my older lover. He furthered the blow by attaching three pictures of naked women pleasuring themselves with their hair in their face. Their hair color was similar to mind and at first glance, well in my panic and afraid state, it could be seen as me. I was horrified. Attached to the link of the website he threatened to send this email link to every student he can find that goes go to my school.

I was mortified at the idea how massive the scandal would be. Teenagers can be ruthless and I was already bullied, it made my blood drain cold. It didn’t occur to me that my close family and friends would know these women isn’t me as I had tattoos already and that would be my giveaway. I cracked at this point and told my mother about what was happening. She was understandably very upset and almost immediately drove me to the police. Although the both of us knew that nothing would happen, no one will be punished but we hoped that us reporting the accident would be enough to scare the man off. I told him just that.

“I went to the police. Please stop contacting me.” I blocked that email after getting enough evidence for the police. Only a few hours later I got an email from the Anna who was very disappointment in me as I just lost this big client and how she would never work with me again. I never responded to her email. Not long after her email I got a email from a new email address. Another…(my email address) I immediately knew it was James. He was livid. The email went along the lines off:

“How dare you block me! The police can’t stop me. If you don’t send me a nude picture in the next two days I will send that link to every single person you know.”

That night I deleted every single social media platform of mine including Wattpad. I didn’t want him to find me or get any more information he can use against me. The next morning we saw the school guidance counselor who couldn’t really do anything for us. There was nothing we could do. If this man wanted to send this link to everyone he can find with a public Facebook profile that goes to our school he can. I walked out of her classroom not feeling like any of my problems were solved and I was still scared of what might happen next. In between I was getting all my facts and evidence straight to hand over to the police. I felt like if I had the police call or email this guy he will back off. While all of this was happening he was sending me links to the website, listing my friends who was going to get his message first. He attached screenshot of their profile and it scared my shit-less. At this point I was in a complete state. I had no idea what I should do or how to get myself out of this mess. I responded with his email trying to sound, or well type as bravely as I could. I lied through my teeth. I would do anything to scare this guy off. My dad was in the army and he has a lot of guns. My step dad’s father used to be the police captain in this town and he still has contacts. My mother is a big mommy bear and she will come for you.

“The police has taken my case in consideration. They have suggested that I break off all contact from you. This will be the last time you hear from me. Please refer to the police department of… for further contact.” Something along those lines. I blocked that email address before he could respond and for the next two days I waited in complete angst. I waited for that link to spread like a wildfire. I was trying my utmost best to mentally prepare for the horror most likely to unfold. I would check on the website every now and again, I couldn’t help myself. Not even 8 hours after my last email the website shut down. It was no longer an existing website. I knew at that very moment that he fell for my bluff.  The big day arrived and nothing happened. I was cautious for a week or two. A big part of me knew that it was all over but I couldn’t relax. It took me a few months to open my social media accounts and even longer to restart my writing.

I have no idea who James and Anna is and I now know the two of them are most likely one person. I also know deep down in my heart that I wasn’t the first girl they did this too nor would I be the last. I can only hope all of the girls could escape their claws and none of them actually showed their bodies to fight of their threats.

The moral of this story is just to take caution. Listen to your instincts and be open to those warning signs because in my case it was there at the very beginning. If something is too good to be true, often it is. These creepers don’t just lurk around in movies, they exist and are torturing young girls in real life. After the incident I will admit I was a little afraid. It took me a long time to use my real name publicly. I know this man could find me quite easily if he wants to today but I also know that I’m way smarter than I was back then and no one will be taking advantage of me this way around. The internet has so much good to offer. There is no way I’m going to allow some creepy guy in his mother’s basement to ruin that.


Story Time

My Top 5 Dream Places That I Want To Visit | Wanderlust

I’m feeling some withdrawals from lack of traveling so why not imagine and dream about my top five places I want to see before you know, bye-bye?

  1. Japan

I fell in love with Japan through watching anime. I’ve seen parts of what it has to offer through said anime and not only fell in love with the country, language but culture as well. Everything fascinates me and it would be a dream come true to experience that in person. I want to feel the cherry blossoms on my skin and touch their bright colors. I want to eat ramen and fry meat on a little fryer inside the table. I want to drink sake on a porch. I want to go to a natural hot spring. I want to wear a kimono and go to a festival. I want to pray at a temple. I want to make a lucky charm. I want to stay in the traditional house. I want to meet the locals and experience the country side. It’s a beautiful country and I can’t wait to make many great memories there with my husband.


  1. London, England

Ever since I read and watched Harry Potter I’ve been interested in the cold rainy country. I want to tick of everything on a typical tourist agenda but add seeing the country side and visit family. The Big Ben, the London Eye, Stonehenge, something Harry Potter related for sure, Buckingham Palace, the bridge and so much more.


  1. Rome, Italy

Another movie sparked my interest in this country although I have a special need to see Rome. I’m very interested in the Italian culture, the food looks delicious and overall the country looks beautiful. I have a thing for old architecture. Also I can visit family so it’s important place on this list for sure.


  1. Northern Lights, Norway/Sweden

To see the northern lights is on my bucket list and definitely a perfect candidate for my top five. Another movie sparked this interested if I’m honest. Disney’s cute movie, Brother Bear. After watching the film as a young child the lights in the sky was something so beautiful and exotic I knew I would see it one day.


  1. France

I’ve been to Paris before and it was truly one of the best experiences in my life and I would like nothing more to see France as Paris is only a hint of the beautiful country.



My favorite and most memorable travel story is Paris. I ventured into the city with my best friend and locals. They truly made the weekend one of my favorite memories. Previously my best friend’s parents met this lovely family and they kept in touch. So when the time came for the two of us to make the trip out to Paris they welcomed us with open arms. They picked us up at the bus stop with our country flag and took us to meet their family and ordered us the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. They had potatoes on top of a pizza. Heaven! The next day we had our first full day in Paris. They took us to the palace where we explored the royal grounds and also went for a boat ride which I attempted to row but yeah…Let’s just say we never moved away from the wall and we basically staid put. My friend nearly passed out from laughing. It’s a memory that always makes me smile. The next day we took the tourist bus and saw so much of Paris that it was breathtaking. The Eiffel tower was like a dream, the boat ride, the views, the churches…everything about it was truly so wonderful. I took over a 1000 pictures that day. I’m not even kidding. I just wanted to capture everything so I could never forget it. Our third full day in Paris we went to outer parts of it, saw the vineyards and explored the narrow streets. I would go back in a heartbeat.


I love to travel and although Onno and I explored only a few towns outside the Netherlands I can already tell that traveling with my loved one is truly amazing. I can’t wait to see the world with him.


Story Time

A Letter For My Future Self | Bucket List

Before I start my letter for my future self I should probably explain a little bit. Early this year I started a bucket list which basically holds all types of ideas and dreams that I want to turn into memories. Some of them are serious ones like get my degree, buy a house, have a baby and etc but then I have some crazy ones. I just want to step outside my comfort zone and experience new things. Every now and again I like to open my bucket list and pick something.

Here was my options for today:

  1. Get interviewed
  2. Have a son
  3. Perform the shrine maiden dance
  4. Learn how to belly dance
  5. Dance under the moonlight with an American Indian (Think the Pocahontas Tribe)
  6. Try Henna ink on myself
  7. Create my own dance routine
  8. Ice skate on a frozen lake
  9. Watch all the Harry Potter movies in one sitting
  10. Have a snow Christmas
  11. Make a snowman
  12. Write a letter for my future self
  13. DIY galaxy painting

Quite an interesting list if I do have to say so myself. It was a tossup between Harry Potter marathon, this letter and the galaxy painting. I don’t really have the time for a marathon right now as I’m concentrating on my Dutch and painting with Speculoos in our tiny apartment is a massive thing so letter it is!


Dear Cassandra

It’s the year 2027 now and the robots mostly likely took over but maybe your new master will allow this letter. You probably won’t remember writing this so prepare to be entertained. You used to be funny.

I’m trying to picture us/you as a 31 year old, oh wait sorry a 30 year old. We decided on forever 30 right? I guess I should start of by saying what I imagine where you are in life right now. Stop me when I’m wrong. To be honest this letter would be so much cooler if you wrote a letter for me and basically give me cheat codes but what’s the fun in that. Alright so you’re 30…You’ve been married for ten years and you probably have a busy career and kids…I’m trying to brainstorm on what I should say. I just imagine you to be very happy. I know how you’ve always wanted kids so I bet your loving every second with them. I bet they’re so cute and I really hope they took after Onno. I hope you decided on my baby boy name. I wrote it down but I know you wouldn’t have forgotten. Are you still enjoying the married life? Oh how is the dream house? Do you have the picture and paint wall like we dreamed of? If not then you have a big weekend ahead. The kids will love the painting wall. I’m sure you will make a big game out of it. Is Speculoos still around? He must be so old by now. As I’m writing this he’s still a kitten chewing on my toes. I hope you visit our parents often and still stay in touch with the friends and family. You probably have a lot of new friends now. I’m sure they’re great people. Oh your Dutch must be so good by now. I hope you haven’t forgotten where you came from. I hope you still speak Afrikaans and enjoy a good night in front of a fire.

Oh I wish you can tell me all about your studies. You probably just finished your master degree if you decided to proceed but all in all I just want to say I’m so proud. We both never thought we will have the opportunity to study and now look at you. You have a degree! I’m confident you are a great nutritionist and you help many people every day. Oh please tell me there is gluten free donuts or better yet a cure for celiac? I bet the robots cured cancer and the world finally has peace. I hope people are finally accepted for their true selves and hate is something of the past. I hope you still dream big. If not you better start! I’m sure there will be something in our pink book to tick off. Bucket lists are so much fun. Oh I hope you saw Japan! I bet you loved every second of it there. The cherry blossoms must have been an one in a lifetime sight. Did our parents come over to visit us in the Netherlands? I’m sure they love it as much as you do. I’m asking a lot of questions and I bet you have a few questions too. I guess I can try to guess what my future self would ask my current self.

Oh I can tell you that currently you’re studying Dutch for the big language immigration test. You’re three weeks out from the big test and your mother in law is helping you so much. I’m sure you thanked her properly. Your blog is still a baby and writing content has been so much fun. I’m confident you still love it. Oh how is your novels coming along? Did you ever finish those two big story ideas? You wrote the entire idea down and made a voice memo of it so if you forgot I’m sure you will find it. Oh look at me asking you more questions! What else would you ask me? Hmmmmm you probably want me to tell you a little bit about Onno. He’s as sweet as ever. Currently he’s working in his office in your poke a dot robe. He’s still working in Utrecht and the two of us are still living in our first apartment in Rotterdam. Oh and we’re training for our bicycle tour. I’m sure that was a great experience.

All in all…Cassandra I hope you are still the same quirky girl that moved to the Netherlands with so many dreams. I hope that you still watch anime, cry in sad movies, pet every dog you see and kiss Speculoos to the point of torture. I hope that you still drink milk in your tea and can drink one litre of orange juice in one big go. I hope you still paint your toenails every three months in that little rainbow you do. I hope you still fart in front of Onno and play with your hair when you’re nervous or bored. I hope you still write stories and I hope you’ve found peace and forgiveness from your childhood. I hope that you’re truly happy but who am I kidding. You must be the happiest you’ve ever been. Send my love and regards to our babies and tell them I can’t wait to meet them. Give a big kiss to Onno and tell him I still love him even if his bold now.

Oh I have an idea. Here is a command. You have to complete this with the family on the next weekend. Have a food fight in the backyard! I expect a big mess. Make tons of popcorn, buy chips, get flour, rice and everything you can think off. Make three packets of pasta. Really get a good amount of food. Every person gets three large bowls of food. Have fun! Oh and don’t worry about the clean up. I got you boo!

Lots of love, Cassy

And remember to…

Live every moment with a open heart!


Links to connective blogs:

My husband chose my look for the day:

I’m 21 and I have a bucket list:


Fitness Tips

Challenge: Step Forward With 500 Lunges In 30 Days (Level 3: Third Wheel)

Do you like a challenge? This is a 30 day challenge where you start with a small amount of lunges per day and as you get stronger and more dead inside, you push the limits and do even more lunges the next day. All the way till you can easily do 500 lunges.

This is for someone in the third wheel of fitness. So if you’ve been working out for a long time now and really know your way through the gym this is definitely something to space things up for you. It’s a great way to challenge yourself.

Happy Lunging!

500 lunges 3.png

PS: If you complete or join the challenge use the hashtag #fitcouchpotatochallenge so I can get in touch with you.

Fitness Tips

Challenge: Step Forward With 150 Lunges In 30 Days (Level 2: Middle Luck)

Do you like a challenge? This is a 30 day challenge where you start with a small amount of lunges per day and as you get stronger and more dead inside, you push the limits and do even more lunges the next day. All the way till you can easily do 150 lunges.

This is for the middle child in fitness. So if you’ve been working out for a hot minute and kind of know a thing or a two and just feel like a change than this is definitely something fun for you. It’s a great way to challenge yourself and build your strength.

Happy Lunging!

150 lunges 2.png

PS: If you complete or join the challenge use the hashtag #fitcouchpotatochallenge so I can get in touch with you.

Fitness Tips

Challenge: Step Forward With 50 Lunges In 30 Days (Level 1: Beginners Luck)

Do you like a challenge? This is a 30 day challenge where you start with a small amount of lunges per day and as you get stronger and more dead inside, you push the limits and do even more lunges the next day. All the way till you can easily do 50 lunges.

This is for beginners. So if you’re new and just decided to make a change in your life this is definitely something fun for you. It’s a great way to start and build your strength.

Happy Lunging!

50 lunges 1 PS: If you complete or join the challenge use the hashtag #fitcouchpotatochallenge so I can get in touch with you.

Fitness Tips

Life Outside Bicycle Training

Balancing bicycle training with life has been one of my main problems since the get go. I encounter a problem, solve it and then encounter another problem. It’s frustrating because I just want to find my groove. The struggle to balance life with bicycle training has been a roller coaster ride. As I’m typing this I’m still not sure if we found balance.

I guess I will start off with explaining a few things mainly the problem we’ve encountered. So the main problem is time. Onno has a long work day and sometimes he ends up working late. So he will get home anytime from 18:00 – 19:30. If I know he is working late I make sure to have dinner ready by the time he arrives so we can still eat relatively early. On average we’re finished with dinner by 21:00 the latest. The gym closes at 22:30 and we can’t go immediately after eating dinner because well I get sick to my stomach when I exercises with a stomach full of food. Now the solution seems obvious right? Go after work and eat dinner afterwards. There is two things wrong with that idea. One we need to time our food throughout the day so we can somehow have the energy to bicycle for a hour straight after Onno gets home from work. The main thing with this is even if we try to eat something small around 5pm half way through the workout we’re starving. I’m not even kidding. My stomach growls like hell. The second problem is attached to the first one. By the time we finish and get home we are absolutely starving and the idea to cook and wait for an easy 45 minutes is anything but pleasant. That and we just bicycled for over a hour. The last thing we want to do is cook. So we tend to get junk food because it’s quick and easy. We basically shoot ourselves in the foot. Now  a solution to the dinner problem is that we can meal prep but alas our fridge is beyond tiny and can barely keep enough ingredients for two different dinners. I guess I can cook before we go to the gym but again we’re hungry halfway through the workout.

Another problem is motivation. Due to life being a bit on the busy side for my husband and myself too if I’m honest and the fact that we genuinely struggle to get to the gym. Every day that goes by that we haven’t been able to get our bicycle training in, the worse I feel. There is this pressure to keep it up and just get it done but yet it’s Thursday and we haven’t been able to get it done and then comes the weekend and by now I feel well the week is basically behind us how are we going to get all the kilometers for the week in the weekend? I know this is the wrong way of thinking. EVERY WORKOUT COUNTS. Let me just repeat that not for you but for me.




Oh I feel a lot better. I’m always my hardest critic. The thing is when we started this bicycle training we did so well. We got so many sessions in every week. The weather was a dream on most days and it didn’t get dark till 11pm. It was a lot easier but somewhere down the line it started to feel like the only thing we’re doing is cycling. Onno gets home, we eat, we bicycle, shower, talk a bit and go to bed. The next day the same thing happens and the weekends comes around. Wake up, errands, couple time, eat, bicycle, shower, eat, couple time, sleep. One day I just snapped. I don’t want the bicycle training to take over our lives. We need to find balance. I’m not sure how we’re going to balance everything out and as I’m writing this now we’re not even close to balance but I have an idea.

So as our main problem is time I figured why not get a stationary bicycle for the house. Onno can bicycle on his own time when his ready after work and now he even has the option before work and I can cycle whenever it works for me throughout the day. It seems like a perfectly good solution. We just need to find a stationary bicycle that will fit inside our apartment and more importantly budget. After some researching and comparing our options we settled on a Tunturi Cardio Fit Bike E35.

stationary bike










Setting up the machine was easy but difficult at the same time. The instructions could have been better but the job still got done. The machine feels quite comfortable to cycle. The seat is wonderful, so soft and the support is good. What is there to say really? It’s comfortable. It will get the job done and it solves our problems. I’m very excited to have my solution in action. For the future I’m going to follow my own advice. I will just take a deep breath and if we have the time or it works out we will go to the gym and if it doesn’t then well that’s just life. I am going to try to get some strengthening workout in just to still get moving. It will be good for me. Everything will fall in place.

Links to connective blog post:

Bicycle training week 11 – 12 —

Bicycle tour update | mini-tour —

Challenge: 3000km bicycle tour —

Fitness Tips

Bicycle Training: Week 11 – 12

So it’s been three months. My oh my does the time fly. I contemplated even writing this blog much less post it online. I will be honest as I’m writing this with only 44 words in I have no idea how this is going to turn out. Maybe I should start with why I’m hesitant. So life has been crazy and well let me just be up front with it – I have a life outside bicycle training. Life sometimes doesn’t make it easy to get out and get my training in. I’m encountering more and more problems. I plan to make a full post about it so expect it literally five minutes after this one goes online.

week 11

Week 11 started of as a promising week but very quickly the same old problems arose. Time. Onno was working late every day of the week and we just couldn’t balance everything.

Monday: 23km

Friday: 21,01km

Saturday: 23,01km

week 12

Oh what to say here…what to say… Okay I’m just going to rip off the band aid and just get to the point. We didn’t get one single bicycle session in. Monday to Friday it was a shared fault of time and a cold and over the weekend it was the motivation. I explain everything in detail in the life outside bicycle training post. Just go there. At this point this post is just the usual two week bicycle training update.

Here is the post I keep referring to:

This post is ridiculously short so here is a cute picture of a doggie…



Self Love, Story Time

Why I Stopped Wearing A Bra

I haven’t worn a push up bra in over a year. 18 months to be exact. The reason why I decided to ditch the boob holder was pretty simple. One night, after a very long and exhausting day I came home and the very first thing I did was take my bra off. I can bet some good money that most women who wear or have worn a push up bra or a bra in general know exactly what I’m talking about. That incredible feeling of pure bliss as the bra goes flying through the air.

After hours of wearing the wire and fabric concussion; it left a dent in my skin. It hurt like hell. My skin was bruised and sensitive. It wasn’t my first time nor would it be my last time (well it was but that’s not a part of my point) that this happened. Much like the eureka moment with my shaving habits my thought process followed along the line:” why am I wearing a bra?” I was around eleven when I started developing breasts. I remember my mom started to encourage a sport bra but at that point I didn’t see the big deal of it. Or well till an older boy in the neighborhood made a comment about my growing breast. So I started wearing bras but the comfortable ones. Eventually I switched to push up bras for more support and a day wouldn’t go by without a bra. Approximately six years the first thing I would put on in the morning is a bra. It would also be the first thing that goes.

Anyway back to my aha moment. Why am I wearing a bra? Well because I’ve been wearing a bra since my boobs grew. It seemed very logical. It was expected to wear a bra. If you have boobs and you go out in public you have to wear a bra. It’s something society enforces ever since I can remember. At this point in my life I was making conscious choices about my body. I didn’t want to do anything to my body that I truly didn’t want to do. Do I want to wear a bra? It was a big hard no. I can’t express the level of comfort I feel without a bra in my life.

Free the boobies and go braless!

Now it’s not all sunshine and rainbows in the world of braless. I’ve gotten quite a bit of a response to my lack of bras.

“You can see your nipples.” Oh I didn’t know a nipple stand when it’s cold isn’t a natural body function. Insert a gasp.

“Your boob are saggy.” Maybe but what does that have to do with you?

“Your cleavage looks gross.” See the worry in my eyes.

There has been so much more but honestly my response is that this is my body. This is my choice. If you don’t like being braless than that’s you honey. If you don’t like seeing a women without a bra than that’s you sugar. If you think I look ugly or less feminine without a bra than that’s you honey. But here is the thing. This is my body and I will decide if I want to wear a bra or not. I have no idea if I will never wear a push up bra again. Maybe in a few years I decide to incorporate them again but for now I will stick to my sport bras.

I also want to add this as a little side note: there has been some scientific research about the subject. Here is a link to an article —

Otherwise my advice to you is to just take a second and decide for yourself if you want to wear a bra or not. Challenge what society expects from women. Take control and make your own choices when it comes to your body.