Story Time

A Wedding Before My Wedding (My Pre-Wedding Experience)

Every girl dreams of this day. It’s the day that they prepare for since their pigtail days. It’s the day that’s perfectly planned out from the tune of the bells to the clear silk of the dress. Every bead, every rosebud and every silver wear perfectly aligned in their rightful place. I can only be talking about one thing. Oh yes. There’s nothing alike. Her W-E-D-D-I-N-G day! In my case it my Pre-Wedding and to explain it briefly; It was basically a wedding without the legal part of it. It was for my family and friends in South Africa before I immigrate to the Netherlands. Obviously because we want our union to be recognized in the Netherlands we had to wait till I was abroad before we could take the steps to tie the knot for the real. It’s on the 22nd of August in the court. Afterwards we’re going to enjoy a lovely meal at a pizza restaurant that serves gluten free food. Something I wanted in the first place.

My time arrived quite early in my life in a time where my adult mind could make decisions that my child self would never come to. One of these decisions is that no, I don’t want the fancy dress, all the flowers, the big event and food that no one really enjoys. What I do want is to spend the rest of my life on this earth with the man I love. I don’t need an over top ceremony to make this possible. Unfortunately I’m a great person and listen to the wishes of my parents. One of those wishes was an over top ceremony that I managed to compromise to something smaller but the bells, rosebuds and silky white dress I couldn’t escape. The idea that I, a woman that loves wearing princess dresses doesn’t want a wedding was something no one could wrap their mind around.

I wish I can say everything went smoothly and I enjoyed every last second of the entire process, but I had frustrations left and right. The first thing that comes to mind was the venue. I’ve never dealt with a business that I loathed more. The memory of the horrors they pushed me through is enough to make me clench my teeth. Then came choosing the dress, it would come to no surprise that I had no cooking clue what I wanted as the entire wedding ceremony was all a smokey haze. I was lucky enough to have a father willing to buy my wedding dress but unlucky enough that his wife is a controlling woman that felt like it was her right to choose my dress. As I only had three months to put the entire thing together, a lot of things I would’ve enjoyed to have on the day wasn’t possible, but let’s move away from the long list negatives.

The positive thing was that I saw most of my cared for family and friends. I made lovely memories.  My uncle’s ceremony. Onno’s vows. My parents speeches. My grandma’s speech. My first dance. My dances with my parents. Oh and I got some great pictures out of the thing so there is that too. But honestly, I encourage you to take control of the situation and celebrate your marriage to the person you love more than anything as YOU TWO wish it to be. Don’t compromise. Don’t let anyone ruin or change this special moment. Don’t please them, please the two of you. Your happiness is important.

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