Mental Health, Review

I Watched 13 Reasons Why And It Kind Of Triggered Me | Series Review | Mental Health

Okay, the moment I thought wouldn’t arrive until much later but here we are, about to watch the first episode of 13 Reasons Why. I mentioned before that suicide is a sensitive subject for me and that I didn’t jump on the 13 Reasons Why wagon when it came out because I feared what emotions and thoughts it will bring up. I’m still not sure if I’m ready to watch this show and I’m a little scared about what emotions it will bring up but I don’t think I will ever be ready to watch it. The title itself has and still does, rub me up the wrong way. Suicide can’t possibly be explained or reasoned. It’s not that simple. There aren’t 13 reasons why someone would decide to take their life. It’s can be brought down to just a number. Now, keep in mind this is my feelings before I even watched a single minute of the show.

I decided that I’m not going to watch the entire show. I will watch one episode, make notes as I’m watching it and then leave. I won’t watch the second episode until quite a bit of time has passed. I need time to process what I just saw in a healthy manner. Okay, let’s jump in. I’m terrified about pressing play but this can be good for me.

This is my notes as I’m watching the movie:

Okay, first of all, I’m one-minute in. I truly appreciate what they have done by having the cast members talk about the premise of the show and warn those who might be triggered by the topics of the series. That’s incredibly important as if something so deep catches you off guard it can do a lot of damage. I also appreciate the fact that they know that this is a serious topic and they’re being cautious. They refer the viewer to 13ReasonsWhy.info (I will check the website out when I finish the episode) for more information. Okay, so this helped with my quite negative view on the show. I like that they did this. It tells me that their intentions are good and that they truly just want to shed light on such a serious topic and start the discussion. Okay, now let’s move on to the actual show. I will be completely honest with you…my heart is racing like crazy. Last night I dreamt about my friend who committed suicide and it’s hard. It brings up a lot of thoughts like why did I survive and he didn’t? The thing is, I know how it feels. I have quite a good idea what’s going through their mind and it’s hard to accept that others who had the same thoughts than I did aren’t alive today. They’re not here to see that things will eventually get better. Their demons won and sometimes I’m terrified that mine will win one day too. Oh wow, I didn’t expect that. Where did these thoughts come from?

Let’s press play and see what happens. I do want to add then I will pause and stop this show at any moment I feel like it’s affecting my health in a negative way.

The start of the first episode by showing Hannah’s locker and it kind of made me lose my breath. One of the things I struggle with the most is the part that comes after suicide. What happens to the family members? To the friends? To the people around you? That’s the part that hurts me so deeply. When I was in my darkest moment, hours away from swallowing those pills and ending it all…I didn’t for one moment think about what would happen after. What about my friends and family? Will my school also decorate or put a picture up? Will my peers write a letter? Will my life be mourned for a few days and then will everything continue? Like I never left. Like I never even existed in the first place. Would my existence on this earth be easily forgotten? Those thoughts never went through my head but they do now. They scare me. I like to think that I’m supposed to be here. That my voice can be heard and I can make a difference. That my existence isn’t for nothing. The daily struggle, the agony that I’ve experienced, it’s not for nothing.

It’s surprising to me that just seconds of this show can pull out thoughts and emotions that I have yet to utter. It’s unexpected. I’m feeling raw and vulnerable and I’m not sure if watching this episode by myself is a good idea. I’m keeping some distance to myself emotionally from the show or well I have a wall up so I’m feeling all of these intense thoughts, but I’m numb. I’m going to see if I’m able to watch more by myself. I might watch this with my husband just so I have that comfort of knowing that he is here. He makes me feel safe and right now, I need to feel safe. I need to know that it’s worth it.

My husband came home from work and for the last 30 minutes, we’ve been talking about what has been going through my head as I watched literally not even 2 minutes of the show and I’m feeling a lot better. Let’s press play and watch some more. Oh wow. Okay, so I’m 3 and a half minutes in and it’s hitting some interesting topic. Girls posing in front of her locker and sharing it but with no emotional attachment. The teacher is talking about the death of the student and another student asks: “if we can move on, it’s been a week.” The truth is, that’s the reality. Some won’t truly understand what it means, some are so involved with their own problems and some just don’t care. That is just the harsh reality that is life. I’m not really sure what to think or to feel if I’m honest. I’m disappointed that my predictions and fears were hit right on the nose but at the same time, I’m happy the show included that because it’s the reality. Unfortunately, not a lot of people are taking mental health seriously and hopefully, that will start to change. Talking about suicide, openly talking about your mental wellbeing can save a life. Okay, let’s continue. And two seconds in…they’re talking about knowing the signs. Are they withdrawing from friends and family? I feel like this can be damaging in its own way. Some who are depressed or have suicidal thoughts won’t have these signs. I sure as hell didn’t. You learn to put on a mask, to act normal. I feel by telling people to look out for these signs can do a lot of harm…I don’t know. I feel like this can damage those who they leave behind. Oh, I should’ve noticed the signs. Oh, how I should have helped them. But some don’t show any of the signs. I don’t know, I feel like it can do a lot of harm and should be said carefully. The next signs the teacher brings up is a bit silly to me. Are they changing their appearance? Really? I feel like this is so broad, especially with teenagers. I don’t know how I feel about this one. I definitely want to Google signs of depression and someone with suicidal thoughts when I’m done with this episode. I personally feel like there weren’t that many signs or shifts in my behavior. I literally decided that I wanted to commit suicide out of the blue, in the middle of my English class. I had every intention of swallowing those pills after I got home. Before that, I was normal with my friends. Nothing was strange about my behavior.

The first sight of the parents brought some intense emotions up. My mind is racing and I have no idea what to think and feel. I think I’m going to stop and come back to watch the rest later. It’s important for me to take the time and place my emotions before I continue watching it. I need to get my thoughts straight and process everything otherwise it might affect my mental health negatively. On the other hand, I’m at the 7 minutes mark and it has taken me down many roads so far. I’m still not sure if this will do more harm than good. On the one side it’s bringing up thoughts and feelings I didn’t know I had. Which is kind of good, I guess. It’s getting these emotions out but…on the other side, it’s a lot of intense emotions.

***

A few days have passed and I’ve decided NOT to watch the rest of the episode. I’m still going to share this blog even though I only made it 7 minutes in because this is important. It’s important that I gave it a chance but decided to take a step back when it was too much. I’m not in a mental frame of mind to watch this show and I don’t know when this will change. Who knows when I will be able to watch it? Heck, I might never finish this episode and that’s okay. I still appreciate that they’re trying to open a discussion with this show but I can’t exactly tell you my opinion or experience because I barely watched the show. I don’t know. I guess only you will be able to tell if you’re in a frame of mind to watch the show and only you can press pause and stop watching the show when it’s too much. I’m not really sure what to say. This show brought up a lot of intense emotions and I need more time to process them before I can get my thoughts straight and explain what’s going through my head.

I’m going to round this blog of here. It’s an intense one and I’m emotionally exhausted. Before I do that, I’m going to check out that website that they recommend at the start of the show. Oh wow, I’m fully impressed. You can get all necessarily crisis information by whatever country you’re in. That’s really cool. They truly went the extra mile with educating others which I appreciate.

I wanted to Google signs of depression and when someone is suicidal but I’m not really in the frame of mind to do so. This entire ordeal has been incredibly intense. I’m not sure if the feelings and thoughts it brought up are good or bad. I just need some time to wrap my head around it. I definitely want to come back to this and talk more about it. Suicide is such an important and serious subject that needs to be discussed more. I truly believe it can save a life. If you’re struggling in any shape or form, I encourage you to reach out. You’re not alone in this.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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13 Reasons Why Website — https://13reasonswhy.info/

Amateur Poems

Writing A Poem In 15 Minutes | Amateur Hour | A Poem About My Dog Dankie

It’s been a really long time since I wrote a poem, especially my amateur poems. So, in this series, I attempt to write a poem in 15 minutes about whatever subject that floats my boat that day. I’m thinking I might write a poem about the cat or dog. I’m feeling a bit bleh about both of them but maybe inspiration will spark when the 15 minutes start. Oh and this is the image I had in mind throughout the entire poem.

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My time starts now:

start dog.pngFuck me, the screenshot of the time took a lot longer and now I’m nearly one minute in and I know nothing. Also, what are 15 minutes after 36 minutes? I didn’t sign up for math as well. Okay, Cassandra. Let’s do the poem. Choose one of your animals. It has to be the dog because the cat has been a complete asshole these last few weeks by waking us up at like 2am. Okay, the dog. Let’s think. Dog. Dog. Dog. This is hard. Should I write a poem in his perspective? How do you even write poems? I don’t understand. This is hard. I’m still trying to work out at what time my 15 minutes are over and that isn’t helping. It’s been a while since my brain had to multitask like this. Okay. Let me first work out the time and then I will hunker down and focus. At this point, I’m just typing my thoughts down. Okay. 6 + 5 = 11. That means that 15 minutes is 10:52? No, that can’t be, right? Is it? Maybe I should stop and start again at 10:40. Wait, if I do that then my time will be 10:55 so that means my math is right? No, it’s 10:51. Okay! I figured it out! This does mean I only have 11 minutes to fucking write a poem about my dog. Okay. Let’s just throw some things out and see what happens.

My day starts out bright and early > My daddy comes downstairs and opens my cage > My daddy gives me a good pet before he lets me out

This is stupid. Am I going to try to start every line with a ‘My’? That’s not how you write poems, Cassandra.

I like to chase the cat? > I like my teddy > I like to go for long walks > I like to play with other dog friends > I like –

This is so fucking stupid. How am I supposed to write a poem about Dankie? What do I even write?

I’m goofy > I’m a little dumb > I’m super fluffy > I’m Dankie > I love my teddy > I love my human parents > I love to chase my cat brother > I’m always happy > I’m super friendly > I’m my mommy’s precious little boy > I’m Dankie > I love long walks > I love to chase my own tail > I love to cuddle with daddy and watch football > I’m –

Where the hell am, I going with this? Also, can I count that as my poem? I kind of like it. it took me 3 minutes to write but that’s okay? It sounds nice? I never finished this 15-minute challenge so early. What do I do now? Do I try to write another one? Do I even have enough content for another one? I have 5 minutes so I need to make up my mind. Urgh.

I start my day by greeting my daddy with a kiss > I then go to the loo and bring in one of my toys > I then stay with daddy while he eats breakfast > I go back in my cage with my toy and wait for mommy > I love my mommy > I get to cuddle with her for a good hour before she gives me a treat > I love eating my treat on the grass > I play with my tail and toys till mommy comes down for lunch > I cuddle with mommy while she eats lunch > I get to play with mommy as she cleans up my fur > I love the vacuum cleaner > I play a bit more outside until it’s walkie time > I love my walks > I get to cuddle with mommy and daddy all night > I love my life?

I don’t know where I was going with that one. I was running out of time. Alright, my time is about to be finished so I’m just going to keep on typing till I hit the 10:51 one mark. It can’t be much longer now? Maybe-

My time ends now:

end dog.png

Okay, so you know what I just realized after editing the timestamps? Last time I was sure to show where I was on the word document in the time stamp so everyone could be at ease and know what I wrote when and if I truly stayed in my 15-minute time limit…I didn’t do it this time. Now there is no guarantee that I actually wrote everything in that time limit. Should I do it again? Can you just take my word for it? I promise I wrote my poem in the 15-minute time mark. I also don’t think I have enough content to attempt another poem about my dog if I’m completely honest.

I kind of wrote two poems so I think I’m going to just choose my favorite and call it a day.

I’m goofy > I’m a little dumb > I’m super fluffy > I’m Dankie > I love my teddy > I love my human parents > I love to chase my cat brother > I’m always happy > I’m super friendly > I’m my mommy’s precious little boy > I’m Dankie > I love long walks > I love to chase my own tail > I love to cuddle with daddy and watch football

It ends quite abruptly… I wonder if I can add bits of the other poem I wrote? Would it be considered cheating? Fuck it, this is my challenge. I can make up my own rules. The only line I can add is I love life but how is that a good ending? Aww well. It can’t get much better than this. Here is the final version of the poem even though there aren’t any big changes and this is the third time you’re seeing it. Sorry about that.

I’m goofy

I’m a little dumb

I’m super fluffy

I’m Dankie

I love my teddy

I love my human parents

I love to chase my cat brother

I’m always happy

I’m super friendly

I’m my mommy’s precious little boy

I’m Dankie

I love long walks

I love to chase my own tail

I love to cuddle with daddy and watch football

I love my life

This poem was interesting to say at least. It was all over the show and I’m not in love with it but I guess there is a reason why I call this series my amateur poems. I truly love writing poems and I will often write one when I’m in a depressive state. I find the process fun and it soothes me so that’s an added bonus. I hope you enjoyed the poem and now it’s time for the rating.

My rating: 7/10 Honestly this is as good as it’s going to get.

My husband’s rating: 10/10 Okay, he is at work but whatever he will give me full marks.

Speculoos: 1/10 It’s still not about me

Dankie: Woof/10

This was such a silly blog but they are always fun to write and at the end of the day that’s what’s truly important. I hope I made at least one of you chuckle. Here is some of my favoritre pictures of Dankie from recently.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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PS Dankie has his own Instagram so check it out if you want to see more of my little fart. I don’t post that regularly but yeah anyway here is the link — https://www.instagram.com/dankieeey/

 

 

Story Time

Funny Foreigner Fail | 12 O’clock Alarm Story

I always forget about this story but once a month a little reminder rings through the air and I have a good chuckle. So, I figured why not share this story so you guys can have a good chuckle as well. This is my 12 o’clock alarm story.

You’re going to need some backstory otherwise this story might not be so funny. Here in the Netherlands, they ring an alarm on the first Monday of every month at 12pm. The ‘luchtalarm’ is a siren or alarm to warn the residents of dangerous situations. I’m directly translating this from the Wikipedia page and it’s messing up my flow. I’m going to read ahead and translate everything into my own words. Basically, it’s an alarm system that can be used to warn the population when there is a danger. I had no idea that the Netherlands had this system at the beginning of my stay here but I recognized the sound from the movies and my first thought was BOMBS!

I must have been here maybe three weeks when it happened. Everything was new to me and I just started to get comfortable with everyday life. I remember I was at the house, doing my chores and getting ready to walk the dog when the alarm went off for the very first time. I freaked out. All I could think off was bombs! Shit just hit the fan! We’re under attack! What the hell do I even do? Do I lock and board up the house and hope for the best? Do I go get the kids out of school? Do I go sit in the basement? I hid under the table as I waited for the alarm to stop. I had no idea what I should do and I was terrified. In the back of my mind was like oh you leave South Africa for a bright future and safe life and not even a month in you get killed by bombs? Wonderful! I was two seconds away from calling my parents and utter my dying words when the alarm stopped. I waited, terrified under the table for well the bombs. Once I noticed that nothing happened, I googled what the hell just happened and laughed myself silly when I saw that this was something they did regularly. They do this because they test and control the system. See if it works and can be heard but also to remind the public about the alarm. In November 2015 they stopped ringing the alarm in two cities with a high foreign population mostly because similar to me, they freaked out when they heard this. It’s also for those who had to flee their country because of a war. When I saw this, it warmed my heart. It’s so sweet that they would be so considerate of others.

That’s it. Not even 500 words in and I said what I wanted to say. It’s just something super funny that happened when I just got here and it always makes me smile. I did feel better about my reaction when I played tour guide for some family friends from South Africa. They didn’t hide under a table or anything, mostly because everyone was pretty chilled about it on the streets in Amsterdam. I like to think that their heart skipped a beat for a millisecond. Most Dutchies always chuckle a little when I tell them the story, heck I have a good chuckle when I tell this story. It’s just so random but the fear was real. I honestly have no idea what I would do in a war situation. It’s scary and it makes me so grateful to live in a place where there is peace.

I’m sorry this blog is on the shorter side. I can’t really stretch it out. To make up for it here is some cute pictures of my animals.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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PS both of my furbabies have their own Instagram profile.

Speculoos — https://www.instagram.com/speculoos_the_cat/?hl=en

Dankie — https://www.instagram.com/dankieeey/?hl=en

 

Sims 4 Meals

Remaking Sims 4 Meals | Normal Cooking Level One: Pan De Muerto (“Bread Of The Dead”) | Part 7

For a full explanation of what this challenge is, please follow this link here — https://fitcouchpotato.com/2018/10/29/challenge-remaking-sims-4-meals-introduction-and-index/

For the previous meal, please follow this link here — https://fitcouchpotato.com/2019/02/11/remaking-sims-4-meals-normal-cooking-level-one-franks-and-beans-part-6/

Pan De Muerto (“Bread Of The Dead”)

I desperately needed to go to the shops and buy some groceries so I figured I should look into the next Sims meal I need to make and buy what I need. Next up on the list is Pan de Muerto. I had no idea what it was. All I knew was the Sims character never got full after eating one serving and that it looks like some sweet pastry. Similar to the Franks and Beans, I needed to deep dive on the internet and figure it out. I was anything but excited when I saw it was bread, a Mexican bread to be precise. Gluten-free breads are a bitch to make and I knew finding a recipe would be anything but easy. Very soon in my difficult journey of trying to find a recipe that will be Cassy friendly, I stumbled on what the Pan de Muerto means. This next part is the introduction to the recipe I’m going to attempt.  Pan de Muerto (“Bread of the Dead”) is a traditional Mexican sweet bread that is commonly made during Day of the Dead (Día de Muertos). It is very important during this season, and the meaning behind it is as rich as its flavor.

I immediately chose this recipe because they truly explained everything but it wasn’t gluten-free. So, I decided to do some research on how I can replace the normal flour with my gluten-free flour and still have the end result be successful. As far as I know, if I add Xanthan gum everything will be good. Sure enough, I found a website that said just that and I decided to jump right in and make it. Before we start, I do want to add that I truly appreciate the meaning that comes along with this bread. I think it’s wonderful that they do this and I think more cultures should do this. We should all appreciate dead and thank them for being in our lives.

The recipe (link is below) is incredibly detailed and very easy to follow but that doesn’t mean it was easy to make. I took a lot of pictures (or well the Husband took a lot of pictures) so let’s get this started.

Step one is: place the eggs, margarine (I just used butter), salt and half of the sugar in a mixer bowl. You need to mix this for 2 minutes.

Next, you need to add the flour in small amounts while alternating with the water. Now, this is when I needed to use my hands. In a separate bowl, I had already mixed gluten free flour they recommend for bread and pizza and added the Xanthan Gum. The website I followed recommended 2 teaspoons for every cup of flour. The thing you need to know about Xanthan Gum is that you can’t mix it with an electric mixer. The mix/dough will climb up and clog the mixer so I normally fold the flour in (for cake recipes) and in this instance I used my hands. Also, this is just from my experience, the gluten-free and Xanthan Gum mixture is drier than normal flour and you will need a tiny bit more moisture. This is especially needed when the recipe you’re following isn’t a gluten-free recipe. The next step is to add the dry active yeast and mix until it’s well combined.

Step two is to add the butter, one at a time. You also need to add the orange zest, the rest of the sugar and the orange blossom essence (I just used orange juice).

You need to mix this well. I had to do this by hand as it’s not possible to use the electric mixer anymore. Once you add the Xanthan gum it’s game over.

Now it was finally time to knead the dough on your work surface. You need to knead it for a good couple of minutes until it’s nice and smooth. You then need to transfer the dough and cover it for plastic wrap. It needs to stand in a warm place until it doubles in size. I can see now that my dough looks quite different than the recipe I was following. Hers is smooth and sticky and it’s clear now mine needed more liquid. I do want to add that the butter that a greased the bowl with did help with that as it melted while I had it sit. My dough also didn’t double in size. A lot was working against my bread as it was 1) gluten-free and 2) hand mixed in almost every step where the lady in the recipe had a special mixture.

The dough rested for two hours before I started to shape them. I followed the instructions and decided to make two big ones instead of a lot of smalls ones. It was already 11pm and I just wanted to be done for the night. My dumbass didn’t think to adjust the amount of time so most of the bread turned out raw. I put the timer on for the small pieces of bread and didn’t take into account that my large bread will need more time. I did double the time but that wasn’t nearly enough. We only noticed just how raw they were the next morning and by then it was too late. In the end, we could only taste the top parts.

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Now, drumroll, please…Here is the finished result.

Our bread was also super dense but that might be because it couldn’t mix it as well and it’s still raw.

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We did end up throwing most of it away as well it was raw and inedible but the little I could taste, I enjoyed. I don’t think I will make this again but I definitely want to play around with sweet bread in the future.

Now, how did Sims Susan make her pan de muerto? It was so easy for her it is considered cheating. She literally just mixed in her little mixing bowl for a few Sims minutes before putting it in the oven. And that was it. No kneading. No hours of waiting. Nothing like that. I’m not salty. At all. I’m not jealous of a game character. Not. At. All.

Okay, let’s compare our two.

Other than that my bread was raw and inedible, I did a pretty damn good job. I’m actually really proud of the outcome. At least it resembles the bread I was trying to make. That has to count for something. Okay, before we wrap up this blog with the rating, I do want to say one thing. I decided to always take a 3-month break every ten parts with all of my blog series. The reason for this is to switch things up. At this moment my website is just Sims Meals and Reviews and I love that but there needs to be a balance otherwise…it can get old real quick. At the moment my Mondays’ look like Sims Meal, something else, Review, Sims Meal, something else, Review, Sims Meals and etc. It’s a bit boring. Okay, now that is out of the way, let’s rate this puppy.

Taste: 8/10 – The little I can taste, tasted quite nice. I’m not the biggest fan of sweetbreads, a shock I know, but this one tasted quite nice. I really liked the orange taste.

Look: 9/10 – It definitely resembles a Pan De Muerto but you can tell it’s homemade.

How easy it is to cook: 3/10 – It’s anything but easy. I definitely made a lot of mistakes along the way but it requires a lot of time and effort. I’m lazy when it comes to cooking and baking. I want to mix for ten minutes and leave the rest to the oven.

That’s it! I hope you enjoyed this meal. The next one is a bit boring but aww well. This is still Level One of this challenge so I guess it makes sense. If you’re interested in making this bread, I definitely recommend you follow the recipe I used. It’s very detailed and only an idiot (me when it comes to baking bread) can mess it up.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

010101

Recipe — https://www.mexicoinmykitchen.com/pan-de-muerto-mexican-bread-of-dead/

Xanthan Gum — https://nuts.com/cookingbaking/leavenerthickener/xantham-gum-gluten-free.html

 

General Life Tips, Good Old Fun

How I Dye My Hair At Home | Brown Ombre

I’ve been dying hair since I hit the two digits mark, wait no I started dying hair way before that. I must have been seven or eight. Back then, my mom would dye her hair on a regular basis. Almost every single month. I was the one that always got the job. It was rough in the beginning. I couldn’t care less about being careful about not getting any dye on her forehead, ears, and neck but as time passed, well I kind of figured the art of hair dying out. Eventually, I got quite smart and decided to charge my mom for every hair dye session. I demanded R20 so basically €1 at first and gradually increased my price. She eventually started to ask someone else. In my defense, it was always over the weekend and that’s when I could do what I want and not worry about school. I was about sixteen when I dyed my own hair for the first time and quickly discovered there is an art to it too. This is how I dye my hair at home.

Part One

The final result I’m going for is a natural looking ombre but I had to dye my roots or top part of my hair first. In September I dyed my hair bright red and my roots were starting to show. So, I knew if I wanted a natural brown ombre look I had to dye my hair in two sessions. I do want to add one thing before I explain to you how I dye my hair. Red hair dye is incredibly stubborn to get rid of. It always somehow peaks through and can take you a few dye sessions to fully get rid of. This is what happened to me. I only dyed my hair my natural hair color once and immediately went over the lighter color the next day. This lighter color only brought out that red. So, if you would a brown ombre look with no hint of red (that is to say you previously dyed your hair red) you will have to do so over a few months. You will have to start off with dying your entire head your natural or root color. Allow that color to settle and wash away and then dye your entire head in your natural or root color again. I would probably do this about three times to be safe before I apply the light color. What the light color does it opens up your hair follicles so if you still have a red base to your hair that will come to the forefront. In this instance, I didn’t think of the red color peeking through and just applied the lighter color and this basically undid all the dark brown color I applied the previous night. I do quickly want to add that I’m not a hairdresser. This knowledge is just what I’ve gathered over the years and this is what has happened to me.

Now that all of that is out of the way, let’s explain how I dye my hair at home. I took a ton of pictures, or well the husband took them but I will explain each step fully and just add the picture as a little extra guidance.

Step One

Comb out your hair. The last thing you want is to have knots in your hair. If you dye your hair with the knots in, the color will take place in some funky ways. Basically, when you unknot your hair some of the hairs that were in the knot won’t be freshly dyed. I always dye my hair when I know there are no extra products in my hair and it needs a wash soon. What I mean with that is, your hair needs to be product free, no mouse, gel, and spray. I also don’t like to dye my hair if I washed it the night before. I feel like this does extra damage so I will always wait about two days before I dye.

Step Two

I divide my hair into two sections and find my middle part. I then start right in the middle by concentrating the dye brush on my roots. I do both sides of the part before I would take the back of the brush and section my hair. I basically make a new part just on the side and then toss the hair to the opposite side. I will then place the hair dye on the roots on both sides again before using the back of the brush and making a new part. I will do this until I’m all the way to my ear. I will then go back to the first original middle part and repeat the process on the other side. Make a new part with the back of the brush, dye on both sides, new part, dye on both sides and etc.

Once I have dye on my roots on the front part of my hair I will move on to the back part. This is where things get a little more difficult because you are dying at the back of your head. You will go mostly by feel but you can turn to the side and take a peak after every new part. I have a lot of confidence in my skill so I just do it by feel. I start off by bring the front part to the front and making a clear path at the back. It will basically be a wonky line from ear to ear. I find the part that is completely dye free. The top is the front part of your head that is dyed and the bottom is the start of the back of your head. This is quite difficult to explain. I’m so happy I have pictures. The process is very similar than before. You find your starting point, dye on both sides, make a new part, dye on both sides, make a new part and repeat until you get to your neck. I always make sure to really get all of those baby hairs at the back of the neck and brush them all up. If you get to this point all of your roots are dyed.

Step Three

I go right back to the beginning and start at the front of my head. I part my hair in the middle and start at the top and slowly work my down to the bottom. One side at a time. I will take small sections at a time and apply dye to the dry hair. I only dip in once and apply lightly before I rub the dye in my hands. If you’re are dying your entire head you will do this with all of the dry hair in your little section but if you’re doing an ombre you will stop in the middle. I will then flip the little hair section to the other side of my head and pick up a new bundle. Apply enough dye to cover everything, rub in and then flip to the side. Pick up a new bundle, apply the dye, rub, flip, new buddle, apply the dye, rub and flip. Repeat till you get to the ears and repeat the process on the other side of the head. It’s very similar than part two.

Step Four

Once all of your hair is dyed, I will take whatever dye I have left, put it in my hands and massage it into my scalp. I will always make my hair into a pony and put a decent amount of dye at the back to make sure that if I put my hair into a pony everything will be dyed. I just go nuts, really get the leftover dye everywhere. I always allow my hair to sit in a little bun at the top so if you give yourself a little once over when you’re done, you will be able to see if there are any parts that are still dry. I will also make sure to get all of my baby hairs around my ears, forehead, and neck at this moment. Of course, when you are doing an ombre you can’t go too nuts and you definitely won’t apply a large amount of product in your ponytail hair or the bottom part of your hair. I’m struggling so much with explaining everything.

Part Two

It’s time to add the lighter color and bring your ombre to life!

Step Five

It’s very similar than step three in the part above but instead of applying the lighter color at the top ends of your hair you concentrate on the ends. Stop roughly in the middle, rub the product in and then take a comb and brush everything in. I simply combed my hair with my fingers. Don’t worry about getting the lighter hair product to high in the hair. What I mean with that is that you don’t want a clear line at the back of the head where the one part is dark brown and the bottom part is light brown or even blond. By combing it a little higher you will have a blended effect. Wait let me try to explain that again. You brush on the product at the bottom part of your hair starting in the middle, rub in the product properly and then comb through your hair with your fingers. The leftover product on your clove will do the blending for you. Only a small amount of the lighter hair product will be on the upper area of your hair. Oh, my this is really hard to explain. Originally, I refused to get hair dye with any bleach in and had hoped that the lightest blond hair dye that is bleach free would lighten my hair enough to get the ombre effect. My hair looked very natural but quite dark and it wasn’t the ombre effect I wanted so I went back a few days later and bought bleach. I repeated the entire step five or ombre process and washed it out after 25 minutes. I wanted the golden brown ombre effect but if I would have left it on for longer, I’m sure I would have walked away with blonde.

 

Picture 1 with pink pants is without bleach and picture 2 with the blue shirt is with bleach. Blue shirt hair is also before hair mask so the hair looks dry.

Step Six

If you use any bleach, apply a shit done of hair mask on. I put quite a bit of product on the next day and left it in my hair the entire day. Bleaching and hair dying as a hole dries out your hair. If you want healthy looking hair that feels nice and soft a good hair mask once your done will do it wonders. I will do this twice a week until my hair recovers from the three hair dye sessions.

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I used Garnier hair dye as I love the conditioner they supply in the boxes. It is also a brand my mother loves. I bought the L’Oréal Ombre box when I saw that I needed a bleach.  My end result does have a bit of the red in. As I mentioned before, I put the lighter color over my newly dyed natural/root color and this just lifted all of that dye from the day before and the red just popped. It basically removed the dye there. I don’t love the red hint but it doesn’t look too bad so I decided to leave it as is. Next time I will just be more cautious about it. Again, I just want to make it clear that I’m not a hairdresser. This is just how I dye my hair at home. I do ask that you limit your expectations. At the end of the day for a full professional look you will have to see a hairdresser. If you’re dying your own hair for the first time just fully prepare yourself for some oopsies. You’re not going to get it 100% perfect on the first try. Best of luck!

Before I leave here is some pictures of my hair, dry and refreshed after a hair mask the night prior.

Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!

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